


Catch My Breath

by kylarossfiercefive



Category: Gymnastics RPF, Raistafina - Fandom, Sports RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 18:03:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylarossfiercefive/pseuds/kylarossfiercefive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You all know what happened in 2012. What happened in 2013?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Show

Slow it down, make it stop  
Or else my heart is gonna pop  
‘Cause it’s too much, yeah it’s a lot  
To be something I’m not

Aliya Mustafina dropped her hands from hips and held them out to the side. One try, she told herself. Pretend it’s the competition. She adjusted her ponytail one time. Do it for Aly Raisman. She shook her head. Oh, not Aly. Stop thinking about her, Aliya. She doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. In fact, do it to defeat Aly Raisman. She cannot win. You must.

Life without the American had been strange, to say the least. They had been through much together. Every time Aliya looked at Aly, her stomach dropped in the cutest way imaginable. Now, if Aliya ever heard Aly’s name spoken aloud, her stomach would drop. Drop in fear.

No, Aliya reminded herself. No more Raisman. No more American romances. She was done with love. Now, all Aliya had to be was a champion once more.

With that pep rally in her head, she ran at the vaulting table, performed a roundoff, hit the table, and twisted around two-and-a-half times. Aliya came down and took a huge hop and two big steps on the landing. She groaned, completely out of breath and tired. Her vaults had been hit-or-miss all day, usually in the miss section. Aliya sat down on the mat and put her head in her chalk-covered hands. Aly had distracted her again and she wasn’t even at Krugloye Ozero.

What was the point of trying to get Aly out of her head if she couldn’t? It was a war inside of Aliya’s head and they were at stalemate.

Ekaterina Baturina, a new senior, came over to where Aliya was. “With that Amanar, you’ll never make it to Worlds.” Unlike Aliya, Ekaterina was calm and focused. Her potential was untapped and she was skyrocketing. Her blonde hair was in a neat bun and her makeup was nice and natural. She was cute like a little fluffy bunny, to say the least.

Aliya sighed. She couldn’t deal with drama today. “Whatever, Katya. At least I vault an Amanar.” It was true though. Ekaterina wasn’t very great at vaulting. She prefered floor, where she excelled. Aliya took out her ponytail and shook out her hair. It wasn’t a good hair day or a good day in general.

Ekaterina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her pink sports bra. “Whatever, Alka.” Ekaterina just needed to make it to Worlds, not caring if any of her teammates made it with her. Most of friends were younger than her anyway.

Russian nationals were on everyone’s mind. They were only less than a month away and everyone wanted a coveted spot on the Worlds team. Aliya knew she was going to dominate, but she had to watch out for Viktoria and Evgenia. “So, do any of you know who made it to Worlds for the USA?” Aliya directed her question at the few girls who had gathered at the vault.

Maria Paseka bit her lip as she chalked her hands before prepping her own Amanar. “No, Alka, I have no idea. They probably didn’t have their nationals yet. Why do you even care?” Her red hair fell in her face. Ekaterina immediately reached over and fixed Maria’s bun.

“I’m just curious, Masha,” Aliya sighed. “Besides, don’t you have an international romance?” Her brown eyebrow arched.

Maria blushed and ran down the runway once before returning. “No!”

“Look, I don’t care about your Maroney problems,” Aliya muttered as she left to work on dance elements on floor.

Maria shouted as Aliya left, “It’s not me who has the romance, it’s Vika!” Viktoria Komova, the little blonde pixie who had been eavesdropping on the conversation, blushed bright red like a fire hydrant. Like always, Viktoria mounted the beam which usually happened when she was extremely embarrassed at the gym.

Aliya shook her head with a smile. Even with all the drama at Krugloye Ozero, there was no place she’d rather be. Well, except for Aly’s arms. Stop, Aliya shouted in her head. You’re not in love with anyone anymore. Not Pavel and certainly not Aly. Deep breaths. She got on the floor and bounced around.

“Are you going to anything, solnyshko?” Alexander Alexandrov, her coach, asked. “Come on, work on your floor!” Aliya waved him away. She would go and work hard as soon as the memories of Aly faded away. Aliya clenched her fists and closed her eyes, wishing away the past. All she really cared about now was the present and that wasn’t even working out in her favor.

She should’ve never started anything with Raisman.

Aliya walked over to Anastasia Grishina and did a Memmel turn. Anastasia was one to talk to because one: she didn’t talk to people and two: because she didn’t talk to people, she would never tell anyone anything. Also, Anastasia was injured. Once a gymnast was injured, it was like they had an infectious disease; no one wanted to be around them. “Privet, Nastya. How is your ankle feeling?”

“Not that great, spasibo, Alka.” Anastasia’s blonde bangs hung over her face. Aliya pulled them back to show off her green eyes. 

“Striking, Nastya.”

“Spasibo.”

Alexandrov shouted, “Get to work, girls!” Aliya rolled her eyes and Anastasia held in her giggle behind her palm.

Maybe Aliya could tolerate life without Aly.

____________________________________________________________

Alexandra Raisman dismounted from the bars with a small hop. Her coach, Mihai Brestyan slowly clapped to the tune of the latest pop hit. “Great job, Aly. That’s the best dismount on bars you’ve ever done.” He made a move to embrace her, but Aly moved away before he could even lay a hand on her. She took a sip from her water bottle. It crushed under the pressure of her right hand. Aliya was in her mind, and even if that was her best dismount, it was her least favorite. Least favorite and most favorite.

Aly knew she had to make Worlds this year. Had to. Not to keep a tradition going, though that was an underlying reason. She had to win Aliya back. They left on awful terms. Aly had to tell Aliya that she didn’t mean any of the words she said. That she loved her.

Aly loved Aliya Mustafina, no matter how many times she denied it.

They weren’t dating anymore, not after everything they went through. Aly loved her, but Aliya didn’t reciprocate. Now Aly needed Aliya back. She would do everything in her power to win her back. The medals were nice, but Aliya was the trophy Aly wanted the most. The person she would love the most. Aly brushed away her flyaway brown hair. Aly yelled back at Mihai, “It was mediocre and you know it. It has to be a stick landing. A perfect landing!”

“Calm down, Aly. You did fine. Better than normal.”

Aly waved his words away with a flick of her hand. Nationals was coming up soon. If she couldn’t make the Worlds team, her dream was done for. Weeks were spent at camp searching the competition. Kyla Ross, her Olympic teammate, was her main competitor. McKayla Maroney, her other teammate, was throwing TTYs, so it seemed as she would have a huge chance at vault. There were two spots after that which could really be left to anyone: Sarah Finnegan, Rebecca Bross, Katelyn Ohashi, Lexie Priessman, and the list dragged on forever. Aly sighed and got back on the uneven bars.

She kept going from the low bar to the high bar and back. Trying to get into a handstand position, Aly fell off the bars with a bang. Mihai ran over to her. “Aly! Aly, are you alright?”

Aly held her knee tight to her chest. “Yeah, just go!” Emotions were running high as Aly limped to a chair in the gym. “Go! I am fine!” She sat down on the chair and took out her bun. Holding a yellow towel to her face, she let some tears fall. Tears of defeat. Aly pounded the chair. She should’ve never returned to gymnastics. Yet there was never reward without any risk. With one more pound, she let go of her emotions and rode the wave of lost love.

_________________________________________________________

Aliya opened the door to Viktoria and Maria’s dorm room without knocking. She hoped they’d be fine with this breach of privacy. Aliya had to talk to them about their relationships, or their supposed ones. Aliya accusing Maria about McKayla Maroney did not go as planned. And what was with Viktoria blushing? The television in their room was glowing and buzzing. “What are you watching?” Aliya asked. Her brown hair was damp from the shower she took earlier. Yes, it was to wash off the dirt, but it didn’t hurt to start off clean. No emotions. No thoughts. A clean slate.

“Nothing,” Viktoria and Maria said at the same time. They both knew Aliya hated romantic movies with a passion ever since last winter.

“Come on, tell me.” Aliya walked over to Viktoria’s bed, which was closer to the door. She pulled the light green blanket over her head in response. Aliya could see the shadow of the small little pixie cowering in her bed. Aliya clucked her tongue once before moving to Maria. Viktoria stuck her head out of the blanket with a breath of passivity. Her blonde hair was all tangled.

Unlike Viktoria, Maria stayed firm in her bed texting her mother. “Can’t you tell me what movie you all are watching?” The movie was paused on the screen at a picture of a lake. It wasn’t easy for Aliya to tell which movie it was. She took the DVD case. Viktoria gasped behind her and dove under the blanket once more. “The Notebook?” Aliya shouted. “The freaking Notebook?” Maria just stared at Aliya and tossed her red hair behind her shoulder.

“Please calm down, Alka,” Viktoria murmured.

Hearing Viktoria’s nervous voice took her down a notch. “Well, I have no say in what you are watching. Just know that this is a fairy tale and it could never happen in our lives. Ya tebya lyublyu, both of you, but please know that. Don’t go expecting you can kiss in a lake and make love and still live happily ever after. Because you can’t.”

“We know,” Maria said, looking bored with the whole conversation. “Vika, can you press play?” Aliya took the remote out of Viktoria’s hands.

“I need to talk to you about something!” Aliya demanded, her eyes going wide.

“What?” Maria asked.

Aliya squirmed in her place, not knowing where to begin. “Are both of you dating... gymnasts?”

Maria laughed. It went from a small giggle to a long throaty laugh. “You are so funny, Aliya Fargatovna Mustafina. So funny. If you’ve seen my VK pictures, you know I’m not dating an American gymnast. Yeah sure, Maroney and I had our moments, but it is done. Done, I tell you.” Maria’s voice faded away. With that look in her eyes, Aliya wasn’t fully sure it was done on Maria’s part.

“What about you, Vika?”

“I...” Vika blushed in her usual style. “I suppose so, I mean, I don’t know if it’s dating... I mean... well - “

“Friends with benefits?” Maria winked. Aliya couldn’t help but chuckle. Viktoria could never take advantage of anyone like that.

“No!” Viktoria exclaimed. “Not like that. I guess you could say it’s something romantic. We can leave it at that, Alka, Masha.” Viktoria took off her blanket and pressed play on the remote. She seemed to be entranced in the story. Aliya didn’t want her to fall in love too much. Love can hurt and Aliya wanted to protect Viktoria from love as long as she could.

Maria moved over to Viktoria’s bed. “Oh, so who is it?”

“You’ll find out. I won’t say though.”

______________________________________________

Aly took out a bottle from the refrigerator and gulped it all down. “Rough day at the gym?” Her mother, Lynn, asked. Aly shook her head and reached for another bottle, but her mother stopped her. “You don’t need alcohol to drown out your problems, Aly. Gymnastics should be enough, right?” Aly shook her head. She ran up to her room and lay on the bed. Her phone rang. A text from McKayla Maroney.

“R u ok Aly i have not talked to u in a week??”

Aly typed, “Yeah i am fine just tired from training”

A response came quickly. “Yeah ok i will c u at Visas soon talk to u later”

Aly muffled her scream in her pillow. It was too soon. She had no time to get over Aliya and work on her gymnastics. 

It was too much.


	2. Believe It

Love tomorrow, but forget today  
But it won’t always be that way  
Chasing something that you’ve never seen  
But it’s closer than you think

Aliya stood by the vaulting table, checking out her competitors. This rotation was of the four best gymnasts competing at the Russian nationals. This wasn’t the deciding competition, but it was awesome if you competed well. Viktoria was getting ready to vault. Behind her was Maria and Evgenia, then Aliya. The next rotation, uneven bars, was where Anastasia and Ekaterina were. Aliya sighed. This was going to be challenging.

She picked at her white and dark blue leotard. It flattered her body, but she wasn’t interested in appearance. Aliya didn’t even bother with sparkly eye shadow this time around. She had to get through vault and beam. She could make it through uneven bars and floor without any difficulty. She took a deep breath. Aliya had to watch her competition this time. Not like the Olympics. She needed to know what she was up against, even though she saw her best friends and competitors every day training.

Viktoria ran down the runway in her light blue leotard that flattered her eyes more than she could ever know. At the last second, Aliya’s eyes flickered up to see her little mouse twist two-and-a-half times. She landed with the smallest hop imaginable. Her mouth widened into a grin. Viktoria’s white teeth sparkled in the light. She screamed, “Da! I did it!” Her coach embraced her. “Now there is only uneven bars, balance beam, and floor exercise yet. Khorosho.”

“Otlichno, Vika!” Aliya said, giving her friend a high-five. “Looks like a direct flight to Antwerp for you,” she winked.

“Oh please,” Viktoria giggled. “You didn’t even vault yet.” She tossed her blonde ponytail over her shoulders and gave Aliya a stern look. The two of them had had an ongoing rivalry for several years now, but in the end, they were good friends. Even if the media played it up a tad.

Aliya looked sternly at Maria’s Amanar, which was alright, except for a small step to side. That would be the only event that would get her to Worlds, just like last year’s Olympics. Aliya wasn’t even sure if she could go to Worlds with that Amanar. It seemed Evgenia was training a second vault for the strangest reason. Maybe to replace Maria? Aliya didn’t want her good friend to be replaced. But four girls out of so many; it was bound to happen to any of them. “Nice vault, Masha!” Aliya called out. Maria gave her a thumbs up in response.

Evgenia ran down to the vault table in her red leotard and bobbing bun performing a DTY. She went around almost perfectly. Aliya’s jaw dropped for a second. “Wow, Evgesha,” she muttered. They all congratulated her.

“Aliya Mustafina!” The announcer called. Aliya tore herself away from her friends and walked up to the runway. She flapped her arms for emphasis. Not to make herself look fancy, rather, to shake away her nervousness. She had no need to be nervous.

One breath in. Aliya ran to the vaulting table, performed a roundoff, and twisted. She couldn’t see the ground beneath her. After she counted two-and-a-half times, Aliya readied herself for the landing. Boom! She hit the ground with a breakable amount of force. Aliya, to keep from falling, took a large jump forward. Not bad, she tried to tell herself. With another deep breath, she presented to the judges and left the floor. Alexandrov hugged her saying, “One stumbling block down!” She could only laugh in response.

Viktoria walked over to her. “Looks like you’ll catch that flight too.”

___________________________________________

Aly stared down Kyla Ross, McKayla Maroney, and Lexie Priessman, the girls in her rotation. They were her good friends, at least Kyla and McKayla were. Lexie was a new senior and was having a bit of a struggle adjusting. Yet the first day of Visas qualified her in third behind Kyla and Aly, in that order. Aly fixed her bun and fiddled with the sleeve of her white and gold leotard. She knew she was a golden girl. The sweat of her competitors and the cheers of the crowd fueled her.

Kyla, who qualified first, ran down the runway, did a roundoff, hit the table, and twisted around. Almost a stick! Aly gasped. McKayla shouted. Lexie picked her head up from the ground. Kyla presented to the judges and skipped back to the girls after hugging her coaches. McKayla reached Kyla first. “You did it, my love!” They squealed before Aly interjected, “Good job, Kyla.”

“Thanks,” Kyla said, hugging Aly then moving on to Lexie. Lexie wasn’t talking too much due to her major nerves. Senior competition. The bright pink leotard wasn’t doing much for her either. “You’ll do great, Lexie. Don’t worry. It is so so nervewracking, but you’ll be fine. After this vault, you’ll be great,” Aly heard Kyla say to Lexie. Lexie shook her head and watched with piercing eyes Aly going to the vault.

Aly looked at the D-score flashing on the screen. 6.5. Aly had to rock this otherwise she’d crumble. She was still solid, but not as consistent as before. She ran and twisted in the air. She felt like she was flying. Aly hit the ground with a rough landing, but only took a step forward. Aly presented to the judges with a huge smile on her face. “Mihai!” she screamed as they embraced in front of the camera.

“Told you that that hard work wasn’t for nothing, Aly,” Mihai laughed throatily. Aly rolled her brown eyes, but embraced him with even more force. “Aren’t I always right?” He added.

Aly pulled away, “Please don’t push your luck,” she winked, going back to her friends.

_____________________________________________________

Aliya swung around one more time and performed her Mustafina. With a smile, her arms involuntarily lifted up. That routine was definitely going to help clean up her vault deductions. “Otlichno, Alka!” Viktoria congratulated her friend. “Lovely to watch.” Viktoria had gone up first, once again. “Hope your mind isn’t too preoccupied,” she suddenly burst out.

“With what?” Aliya asked. She wanted to fix the hair clip in her hair, but she didn’t want to appear any more nervous than she actually was. Aliya was a serious competitor and they never showed their emotions while competing. What happened was what happened and no amount of crying or laughing could ever change that.

Viktoria shook her head with a look upward at the crowd. “Nothing. Just with that plane ticket you need to get,” she giggled with a nervous expression on her face.

Aliya couldn’t read what Viktoria was implying. “Izvinite, Vika, but you’ll need one too.”

Viktoria laughed and shook her head softly. “Watch Masha now, you silly girl.”

___________________________________________________________

Lexie dismounted her uneven bars with an audible grunt and a large step forward. She tried to smile, but tears were threatening to spill. It was McKayla’s turn next, and between her, Lexie, and Aly, things were not going to look particularly pretty. Thank goodness Kyla was there to even it out a slight bit. “Nice job, Lexie!” Aly shouted. Lexie smiled, but it wasn’t much of one.

“That was rough,” McKayla whispered. “I feel so bad. Lexie was destined to have a great senior career.”

“Not with that dismount,” Lexie interjected with a scowl. “Don’t worry, I hear everything.” Her eyebrows shot up her forehead and left the girls. Aly took a deep breath in and out. This was her weakest link. If she messed up here, her chance on the world team could go out the window. Especially her all-around chances.

Aly was going to be ready.

___________________________________________

Aliya hit her beam routine spot on. Her warm-up jacket was thrown over her head. She had to get focused. She had faltered a bit on her routine. Floor was last. Last time to show off what she could do. Viktoria was still ranked first with Evgenia close behind. Aliya was third then Tatiana, Yulia, and Ekaterina. Maria was working the beam, but by the loud reactions of the crowd, it was not going as planned.

Evgenia lifted up the jacket while humming some Russian folk song. “Mmm... oh, Alka? Izvinite. I was looking for my backpack and...” She turned bright red and shifted in her silver and gold leotard. The only colors she’d ever want around her neck.

“Don’t worry, Evgesha,” Aliya said.

“Khorosho. You’ve been competing well, Alka.”

_______________________________________________

Aly stuck her dismount. As she came off the beam, Kyla gave her a small underhand high-five barely anyone would see. It was Kyla’s turn to shine and she had been dominating the competition ever since. Aly wasn’t denying it.

She took a look at the scoreboard and immediately regretted it. At the end of second rotation, she had bumped down to third behind Kyla and Katelyn Ohashi. After Aly was Sarah Finnegan, Madison Desch, and McKayla. McKayla already had a guaranteed spot, practically, with that Maroney and relatively high scoring Tsukahara vault. Her vault final was secured. Lexie had fallen behind all of the best.

Not to mention, Aly wasn’t the best at anything anymore, except for maybe floor. What if she couldn’t go to Worlds? Her reunion with Aliya would be gone. All that she worked for would be destroyed.

Aly needed that last opportunity to show everyone she was still a champion inside, even if everyone was going to doubt her.  
___________________________________________________

Aliya ended her floor routine with a nice artistic flourish. The crowd clapped politely as she left the floor. Glad that was over with, she muttered under her breath. She hugged her teammates and waited for her score to be processed. It was the last routine in the whole competition. Her scores would affect everyone below her. Of course, no one would admit it, but almost always would the top four gymnasts from Nationals would go to Worlds. There were a few exceptions, especially with specialists. Otherwise, it was almost guaranteed that at least the top two would go.

Viktoria was on top with Evgenia still close behind. Aliya bit her lip. She had to place in the top four. Just had to.

Viktoria came up behind her. “Privet, Alka. Do you want to know why I asked you if you were worried or not?”

“No one has a guaranteed spot to go to Worlds, Vika, I know,” Aliya said, still looking hopefully at the scoreboard. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but it seemed a bit too late for that. It was one of her big flaws.

Viktoria shook her head, letting some of her blonde hair fall in front of her face. She took it and pinned it back in a ponytail. “Nyet, Alka. I was talking about someone.” Aliya’s left eyebrow moved up her forehead, but she didn’t say anything to avoid confusion. “Someone, Alka! Don’t you know who? I really don’t hope I have to say the name.”

Aliya waved off her friend. “I have no idea who you are even talking about.”

“Raisman!” Viktoria whispered in Aliya’s ear. “I don’t want you to worry about her right now, that’s all, Alka.”

“I wasn’t until you brought her up!” Aliya muttered back. The score came up on the screen. Enough to take down Shelgunova, surprisingly. Komova was still number one. It looked like she was ready to dominate Worlds. Aliya, pleased with her second, knew not to relax just yet. She didn’t officially make the team. And Aliya wouldn’t be satisfied until that gold medal was around her neck just like at Rotterdam.

She wouldn’t be satisfied until she defeated Aly once more.

____________________________________________

Aly hit each tumbling pass with perfection. Her dance elements were decent. Aly wasn’t watching her competitor on the floor. Her score was going to keep her behind Kyla and Katelyn. They’d decide who was on the team until later, but Aly was pleasantly surprised with her results. A reunion with Aliya seemed likely now. “Did I do well, Mihai?” She asked her coach.

“I think Marta will invite you to the ranch for sure,” Mihai told his gymnast.

“Good,” Aly said, feeling as though her job was complete. But in her mind, she knew she wasn’t done yet. It wouldn’t be over until the heavy gold World All-Around medal was around her neck and she had won Aliya back in her arms.

That job seemed daunting, yet possible, in her eyes.


	3. Daylight

When the daylight comes, I’ll have to go  
But tonight I want to hold you close  
When the daylight comes, we’ll be on our own  
Tonight I’m gonna hold you so close

Aliya sat up on her bed. Her roommate had been fast asleep for about an hour. She didn’t know what to do. Tomorrow, the Rodionenko’s were announcing who was going to Antwerp. Aliya thought she did enough at Nationals and in the gym when they were observing. She twitched around in her bed, feeling warm and cold all at the same time. Her blanket had dropped to the floor. She grabbed her face which was lightly soaked in sweat. If she didn’t make Worlds, she couldn’t show the world how strong she had become. And she’d prove to Aly that Aliya Mustafina was always better than a lowly American.

She slouched back down her headboard. She never could sleep before major competitions. Aliya hated being nervous. She used to never have to be nervous. A spot was always there just waiting for her to take it. But now, she wasn’t so sure, especially with a sudden change in the team coordinator. And even if she made the team, how was she supposed to defeat her teammates, not to mention the rest of the world?

She hated feeling like she could not control her own destiny. Aliya picked up the photograph on her nightstand. It was of her holding her gold medal in her hand with a wink and smile. She had replaced it after she and Aly were over. It used to be them on the floor podium. But every since they stopped dating, Aliya ripped the photo and threw it in the trash. Then she got Maria to get her another photo.

Aliya tiptoed over to the small window in the room and opened it, letting the fresh air in. She hoped her roommate wouldn’t wake up. Aliya propped her rough elbow onto the windowsill. The curtains rustled behind her. It was like she was in a romantic movie, thinking by the window about her love. And it was almost exactly like that. Except she was thinking about what would happen if she didn’t make the world team and her heart almost crashed right on the floor.

What had happened that made her and Aly fall apart like a house of cards? It wasn’t one moment that caused this mess. It was a snowball effect. A major snowball. More like an avalanche, Aliya thought to herself. Sweat beaded on her brow and she wiped it away. She hated going back to her past now. Everything from London was tainted. Forget that, everything from Rotterdam was destroyed. A tornado of memories.

Aliya heard a knock on the wooden door. Her roommate fidgeted in her bed. Aliya froze in place for fear of her waking up. Her eyes widened and her body ran cold. A snore came from the bed a minute later. It was safe. She tiptoed to the door and shut it behind her. “What are you doing up so late, Vika?” Aliya asked her blonde teammate in her pink bathrobe and blue bunny slippers.

Viktoria rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I’m serious!”

“Let’s just say I knew you’d be awake,” she sighed, not looking at Aliya’s piercing eyes. “You shouldn’t worry about your spot on the world team. I’m sure you made it.”

Aliya placed her hand on Viktoria’s shoulder. “It’s not just that, Vika. And you shouldn’t be up late worrying either. Go back to your room with Masha. Is she still awake?”

“Nyet, konechno. Do you really think I’m awake because I’m worrying? I’m always asleep safe and sound by now.” Aliya knew that all too well. Viktoria fiddled with hair that kept falling in her face. Aliya knew it was a sign of her hiding something. When was she ever so mysterious? Viktoria never kept secrets from anyone. She was a good girl, to say the least.

“Well then, what are you doing at this hour?” Aliya was growing impatient and her bed sounded really comfortable right now, even if she wouldn’t sleep.

Viktoria shrugged, her bathrobe slipping off one shoulder. “The Americans will announce their world team in two days. The day after us.”

“How do you know?”

Viktoria shrugged again. “Don’t worry about it, Alka. I know things you may never have the time to research.”

Aliya shot a dirty look at Viktoria. “Is this about your romance or something? That’s how you know these things?”

“I would never tell you that,” she said, skipping away from Aliya.

Aliya returned to her bed, her mind wandering across many subjects. Gymnastics. Viktoria’s newfound love. Who was it? Aly. What was she doing at night? Was love really worth the fight?

________________________________________________

Aly flopped on her bed, tired from all the training. “What are you looking at?” Aly asked Sarah Finnegan, roommate at the ranch. The team was going to be announced in two days. One more day of showing the Karolyi’s what they were made of. The next afternoon, they would announce who made it. Aly had no idea what they thought of her.

“Aren’t you going to take a shower?” Sarah politely asked. Sarah was the nicest, sweetest girl in the world.

Aly stood up slowly, using each fiber of her muscle to pull herself off the bed. “Yeah, I should. Thanks, Sarah.”

“You’re welcome. Don’t stress,” she called out after Aly, who had went to the bathroom to rinse herself off. Dinner was ahead and everyone was going to be sparkling clean. The new seniors who were there were fitting in right nicely with the rest of them. Lexie, Katelyn, Simone, and Maddie. They were insane. The new generation, Aly thought to herself as she rinsed herself off and put on some cleaner clothes.

She walked over to the dining hall. All the other girls were either there already or getting ready. Aly sighed and mentally prepared herself. How many times had Aly been at the ranch thinking about Aliya? Much too often, it seemed. Thinking about how beautiful Aliya looked at all the competitions. All the sweet words they said to each other when no one was looking. Now it was all ripped away from Aly. She hated it.

She hated thinking about Aliya. It hurt her heart like an arrow straight to her chest. Every song about love Aly heard on the radio reminded her about Aliya.

Their relationship didn’t last long. Fast and quick. Supposedly painless that way, Aly thought at first. But they grew more and more attached to each other. Fast and quick. Painful as hell.

Enough about Aliya, Aly told herself. What about her performance at the ranch? Her bars had significantly improved, if anything. Kyla and Katelyn were the ones in the running for the all-around, it seemed. Aly would do her best to get Marta to put her in qualifying rounds at the very least. One chance to see Aliya again.

She would never admit it to anyone that she was doing gymnastics only for Aliya. It sounded way too cliche and boring. And stupid, if she was brutally honest with herself.

___________________________________________

Aliya stood up with the rest of her teammates. The paper was right in the Rodioenko’s hands. She fidgeted and craned her neck, attempting to look at who was on the list. Four teammates and two alternates. If her name wasn’t on the list, Aliya would probably retire. What else could she do with her talent? Or lack of.

The team coordinators paced up and down the line of gymnasts. Aliya’s gaze focused on them. Nothing else could phase her. Nothing and no one. Not even the cold stares from the others on the national team. Aliya needed to hear her name terribly pronounced on the loudspeaker saying she was the world all-around champion once more. No voice or music could ever sound as melodic as that.

Valentina Rodioenko looked at the sheet of paper one more time before staring right at Aliya. She stared back. No team coordinator, someone of high rank, would get Aliya that nervous. No one ever really did except for Aly Raisman.

And there was the thought of Aly again. Aliya shook off her nervousness by jumping up twice after the Rodioenko’s eyes were off of her.

“The team is...” Aliya hated pauses.

“Ekaterina Baturina!” All the girls clapped. The ones near her gave her hugs. She wiped tears from her eyes and the wisps of blonde hair that were falling in front of her face were getting in the way of her beautiful eyes. Aliya smiled for her. A first year senior with an awesome opportunity to show the world what she’s capable of. Aliya remembered that time fondly.

“Viktoria Komova!” Viktoria, the small, short girl, began hysterically sobbing. One more chance after two silvers. Aliya, a few people down, clapped her on the back. They exchanged glances quickly before turning away. Viktoria now was one step closer to seeing her love. Aliya didn’t have one. She didn’t want to see any former flame at all.

The next name was going to be called. Two spots left. Sure, Aliya could be an alternate, but what use was that? She wouldn’t get to compete. No chance for all-around at all. She took a deep breath in. Her name could be next. She was ready.

“Aliya Mustafina!” Aliya fell to the ground on her knees with her face in her hands. Tears, one by one, flowed out of her brown eyes. She was given a chance at Worlds again. One more opportunity to be the best on Earth. This time around, everything would be perfect. No lingering injuries. No romance to distract her. Aliya knew what she had to do. She was ready. Girls crowded around her so she could barely hear Evgenia Shelgunova called as the last team member and Maria Paseka and Anastasia Grishina as the alternates.

Now that Aliya was the team captain, she had to hit all the routines. Not for her team, not anymore. But for her own injured pride and her country. For her lost love. She knew what was required and expected of her.

She was going to win it all.

____________________________________________

Aly adjusted her track suit. She wasn’t going to be caught nervous or anxious or even in a bad state of mind. She was going to be a team role model. No one, except for maybe talented gymnasts younger than her, could do anything about it. Aly was going to take home the title and maybe a girlfriend on her shoulders.

Kyla spent lots of time on the Internet now talking to someone. She’d never let anyone see, not even McKayla. Kyla still spent loads of time with the team. It wasn’t like she was drawing closer and closer into seclusion like Aly was when she was with Aliya. Aly regretted that the most. Her friendships had suffered with a relationship that didn’t even last long.

Now all the gymnasts were in the stuffy ranch together. One last time before the main six trained. Four team members and two alternates. The girls were holding hands and breathing in sync. Together or separate, it hurt to know some of them weren’t going to be chosen for the main team.

Marta Karolyi launched into a speech on how excited she was for the competition and how she was confident in everyone’s ability, even if they weren’t chosen. Aly just rolled her eyes and stood with a smug expression on her face. She just wanted to know who was going. This whole “boosting confidence” speech wasn’t working.

After what seemed like hours, Marta slowly started to read the names off the list in the quickest speed humanly possible. “McKayla Maroney, Katelyn Ohashi, Aly Raisman, Kyla Ross!” All the girls started to form a group hug. None of them could believe it. Especially Aly, whose tears were running down her face to no avail.

Once hugs were delivered and tears were dried, Kyla pulled out her phone and searched “team Russia 2013 worlds”. “Look!” she shouted. “The Russian team going to Antwerp!” All the girls this time crowded around her. “Baturina, Komova, Mustafina, and Shelgunova. Very strong team.” Aly couldn’t help but notice Kyla’s grin when she said the roster out loud. What was up with her? Oh well, not like Aly wasn’t smiling along with her. Aliya was going to be there. Everything was going according to plan.


	4. One and Only

I dare you to let me be your one and only  
Promise I’m worthy to hold in your arms  
So come on and give me a chance   
To prove I’m the one who can

Aliya rummaged through her drawers of the bedroom she was never in. She didn’t need much in it, to be honest. Two days with her family before the championships weren’t eventful. She’d have much more celebrating to do after the competition. She spent most of her time at a small nearby gym anyway. Her family was supportive and she loved them. Aliya never wavered in her familial love. But she wanted to get the competition done and over with.

Viktoria had searched the American team and found the team roster, Ross, Maroney, Ohashi, and of course, Raisman. Aliya wasn’t sure if she wanted to see Aly ever again. Now, Aliya needed to see Aly’s face once more. Not talk to her, just see her. It would fuel Aliya up with energy and resentment. That’s all she needed to reach the top. Seeing Pavel before she left wouldn’t work. Only Aly would do.

Aliya threw in her black dress in case something inspired her to dress up for meet the gymnasts night. Nailya, her sister, entered the cramped bedroom they shared. “Are you nervous, Alka?” Nailya stroked her pale hand through Aliya’s dark hair. It was a method of calming each other down that they had created when both of them trained at Krugloye Ozero. “Don’t be. You’ll do well.”

“Nailya, I don’t just want to do well. I want to be the best,” Aliya said as she zipped up her luggage. Tugging away her sister’s hand, she carried the heavy suitcase over to the front door for tomorrow’s early departure. A short plane ride was awaiting her. Nailya followed her, her freckled nose crinkling at the sight of her distraught sister.

“Calm down, Aliya, alright? You’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Nailya laid her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Everything will be fine, ok?”

“Da, Nailya.” Aliya wasn’t going to argue with her sister anymore. “Pazhalsta, Nailya, give me some time to call Katya.”

“Konechno,” Nailya responded, heading down the hallway to probably eat anything in the pantry. Aliya took her cell phone and dialed Ekaterina’s number. Ekaterina Baturina, the teammate who was talented yet bossy. The next queen, Aliya thought as Ekaterina picked up the phone.

“Privet?”

Aliya sighed, “Katya, it’s me. Aliya.”

“Oh, privet, Alka. What do you need?” Aliya knew that out of all the people she could call, Ekaterina would be the least nosy. She’d understand Aliya to a certain extent.

“I just want to remind you to bring everything on that list Vika made.”

“I will. Do svidanya, Alka!” Ekaterina hung up the phone, leaving Aliya alone in her silence. She opened up the Instagram app on her phone, hoping to find some comfort in terrible photos of awful quality. The first picture was over Aliya’s good friend in Moscow that she hadn’t seen upon returning from Krugloye Ozero. Aliya made a mental note to go and visit her. It had been a while. The next picture was of a really pretty blonde girl next to a brunette female who had on a red leotard. Aly.

Aliya almost dropped her phone, but caught herself quickly. The caption read, “Going to Antwerp!!!!” Aly was most certainly heading off to Antwerp, but it seemed aimed directly towards Aliya with a leotard and heart-shaped hair clips placed all around her hair. Aliya cursed under her breath before exiting the app and going back to the small cramped bedroom that always provided nostalgic comfort.

___________________________________________________________

Aly waved her friend goodbye from her bedroom window. Time to pack for Antwerp. Sure, Aly procrastinated the unimportant things in life, one being packing. Instead, Aly would stretch across her floor. She couldn’t stay still long enough to get everything ready. Aly took out the list Marta had created for her. Leotards and hair clips galore. It was going to be an extremely long trip, that was for sure.

She was ready to dominate the competition. It was almost guaranteed that Kyla and Katelyn would be the all-around participants, but Aly would show the world that she was the one who really deserved it.

Aly had taken a picture with her friend and put it on Instagram. It would give her fans a taste of her life. That wasn’t the only reason though. Aliya had followed Aly on Instagram and Aly was determined to show Aliya that she was fine without her even if she really wasn’t. Aly wanted to make Aliya jealous and have her realize what she was missing without Aly. When they saw each other again, Aly was determined to make Aliya fall back in love with her. If only it was that easy.

Aly tossed clothes all around her bedroom trying to figure out which ones would flatter her and which ones she’d need to take for many reasons. Her mother came into her bedroom calling, “Aly!”

“Yes, Mom?” Aly asked, peeking over her shoulder.

“Dinner’s in ten.”

“Thanks,” Aly replied, her hair covering her face. 

As her mother left, Aly thought to herself, the destruction of all other competition was going to be in less than ten.

________________________________________________

Aliya twisted her back around in her plane seat. It would be an hour when they landed in Antwerp. She was ready. Her teammates, on the other hand, were so nervous and worrying about every miniscule detail. What they would wear to meet the gymnast night. What if they were late to the competition?

Viktoria was reading some huge classic Russian novel Aliya would never bother with. Viktoria had talked about romance stories ever since Aliya had known her. Maybe she was getting ready to meet with her lover again? But Aliya knew Viktoria read books when she was extremely anxious for something to begin.

Ekaterina and Evgenia were gossiping in the seats behind them, discussing all the cute men gymnasts that would be attending. Aliya rolled her eyes. Now that they were seniors, it was going to be much harder to control their hormonal selves. The two of them were like two little blonde twins ready to experience the world. The world of fierce competition and frankly, the male gender.

All the female gymnasts would be staying in one building and the men in the other building. It wasn’t like the Olympics where everything was segregated by country. Aliya liked it better this way. She could make friends with the other gymnasts while still being able to hang out with her teammates as well. Everyone thought none of the countries talked to each other, but Aliya had made so many friends during Worlds. They spent nights watching movies and attempting to communicate in each other’s language. Pictures galore that no one really ever posted on the Internet. Aliya loved it.

The plane encountered turbulence as the plane bobbed up and down thousands feet in the sky. Aliya clutched her stomach. Viktoria shut her book and closed her eyes, dreaming of winning the all-around, Aliya thought. Aliya couldn’t shut her eyes. She hated sleeping now. It used to be a luxury, but ever since Aly, Aliya woke up earlier than even some of the coaches. When Aliya closed her eyes, all she could see was Alexandra Raisman.

The plane stopped shifting around. Aliya took her hands off her stomach and ran them through her smooth, dark hair. “Are you alright, Vika?” Aliya asks her seat partner.

Viktoria’s gray-blue eyes blink as she slides downward in her uncomfortable seat. “I just can’t wait to arrive, Alka.”

Aliya was just thinking the same thing.

______________________________________________

Aly threw her backpack in the overhead bin and took her seat next to Katelyn. “You ready for Antwerp, Katelyn?” Aly asked as she buckled her seatbelt and took out the inflight magazine. Her hair was in a nice loose braid while she was wearing sweats. Not formal at all. Once they got to Antwerp, they’d find their dorm rooms and then go to eat dinner at the cafeteria. Who knows what would happen that night? The first night in the dorms were always pretty normal, but after that, things got hectic quickly.

“Yeah, I’m excited and nervous,” Katelyn replied, leaning over to take a peek at the inflight magazine Aly was reading.

“Same,” Aly responded. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen at Antwerp.”

Katelyn took her hair out of her bun and let it flow down her shoulders. “Well, at least I know I’ll have a good time making friends with the other gymnasts.” Aly didn’t reply. “We will make friends, right, Aly?” Katelyn asked the older gymnast.

“Yeah, but, um, some of the gymnasts might, you know, like you.”

“Well, of course they’ll like us, Aly!” Katelyn retorted as the flight attendant passed by the two girls. McKayla and Kyla were giggling over something on McKayla’s phone. “We’re American gymnasts, and it’s safe to say that we’re affable people.” Aly sighed. Katelyn did not understand the whole “like you” portion of her sentence. Some of the gymnasts were definitely straight, while others... well, let’s just say they weren’t.

Aly shifted in her seat as the plane started to take off. “Um, that’s not what I meant.” Her ears started to pop, just like her heart did after Aliya broke everything off between them.

“What did you mean then?”

McKayla and Kyla were still giggling, so Aly didn’t attempt to bring them in the conversation. “Like, romantic like. You know, little flings and such. Most of them don’t last longer than the actual competition, but you know, something to look upon fondly.”

“Oh,” Katelyn said. “I, uh, I think I’m straight, Aly.”

“You don’t have to participate,” Aly rolled her eyes. This sounded like her the first time she went to Worlds. Innocent with almost no international experience whatsoever. Hard to think she was that girl way back when. “It’s just some people do. Don’t worry about it. No one will pressure you, ok? Besides, the men are in the other building.”

Katelyn smiled back at Aly. “Good. This is going to be a great competition, if you ask me.” Katelyn yawned and nestled in her chair.

“It will be,” Aly whispered as she took a peek out the window.

______________________________________________________

Aliya stepped out of the car and into the plaza where the dorm buildings were located. The arena was approximately two blocks away. “Khorosho,” Aliya announced. “The buildings look really nice from the outside. Clean and comfortable.” The long plane ride hadn’t done any favor for their muscles besides the fact that it gave them a small break from gymnastics. Tomorrow was another day of long training.

“Da,” Viktoria said. “Very nice indeed. We’ll have a fun time, just like at our respective Worlds. Ekaterina, Evgenia, you’ll make so many friends here, trust me. We’re competitors with all the nations, but we all grow so close. Don’t worry if you start greeting gymnasts by first names.” Viktoria hauled her backpack out of the trunk of the red car. “Shall we go in?”

Ekaterina held onto Viktoria’s hand. “Is it true that there are some romances in between the gymnasts?” Evgenia’s blue eyes grew wide. Aliya had to laugh at them two for once, even if they were going to be the next leaders of Russian gymnastics. The two of them had been longing for someone to call their own ever since they turned senior.

“Da,” Viktoria said. “I’m even in one.” Viktoria dangled this information like a fish hook.

“Shto?” Evgenia asked, grasping Viktoria’s other hand. “I can’t believe it. You, Vika, dating someone without telling us? You were never secretive like Alka right over there.” Aliya rolled her eyes and pushed through the group of three short, blonde, gray-blue eyed, gymnasts. It was like Aliya didn’t fit with them, but she was the team captain, so that must’ve counted for something.

“You’ll find out on your own. Be detectives,” Viktoria winked at her younger counterparts as she linked her arm through Aliya’s as the entered the dorm building.

________________________________________________

Aly entered the van that would transport them to the dorms from the airport. She saw the Chinese team get in their vehicle ready to go as well. It looked like a fierce competition from all the international videos she saw. She was ready to show them that Aly Raisman was ready, even if no one believed it.

She sat in the seat next to McKayla, “Hey, Mack,” Aly greeted. McKayla pinned her auburn hair back and gave Aly a smile.

“Hi, Aly! Come here, let’s commemorate this trip with a pic!” Aly had to smirk at this. A pic was McKayla’s translation for a selfie. Aly leaned in while McKayla took the picture. Both of them had crazy huge grins on their face. “Very nice, Aly! And we don’t even have that much makeup on. Let me post it now.”

Aly leaned back into her chair, not wishing to see McKayla’s phone. Aly wasn’t sure if Aliya would see it or not, but if she did, Aly wanted to show off her best side. Not her worst. Kyla and Katelyn weren’t worrying and discussing what movie they would watch after dinner. Kyla and McKayla were rooming together while Aly was with Katelyn. They’d settle in Aly and Katelyn’s room, then the four of them would check out Kyla and McKayla’s room.

It was mid-day, but it was the dawn of Aly Raisman’s victory.


	5. I'm With You

It’s a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life  
Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new  
I don’t know who you are but I’m  
I’m with you

Aliya put the last leotard on the hanger. It was sparking in the light of the room. She closed the closet door before examining the rest of the room. The small window gave in some good natural light, except for the fact that it was miniscule. It was still nice to be able to see the sun rise and set just like in her dorm room at Krugloye Ozero. Not like Aliya would even have time to gaze out the window for more than a blink of an eye.

Antwerp was much warmer than Moscow, thank goodness. Aliya took off her sweatshirt and wiped off her sweating face with it.

Viktoria had left almost half an hour ago to apparently explore the building. Aliya asked if she wanted company, but Viktoria completely put Aliya down. It was good to have time to themselves, Vika said, before the competition revved up and they would start making friends with everyone. Aliya had to agree with that.

 

Still, Viktoria’s suitcase was thrown on the middle of her bed, locked and unpacked. Aliya debated on whether she should unpack for her, but decided against it. It wasn’t worth having Viktoria mad at her the whole week. They didn’t have to be on friendly terms because there was no team final, but if they were to be roommates, Aliya wanted them to at least be able to talk without clawing each other’s eyes out.

Aliya laid on her bed and turned on the TV, hoping that Antwerp had a Russian channel on the television. She scrolled through the channel guide and found nothing in Russian. One channel in English that only played movies. Aliya skimmed through the channels using the bulky, black remote until she hit a sports network where a rowing competition was taking place. Aliya muted the television so she didn’t have to hear the harsh German language.

Aliya spent her time thinking about all the past competitions she went to, straight down to the first competition she ever went to when she was very young. Aliya couldn’t remember exactly how old she was, however, she remembered falling off the beam twice and falling on a handstand position on the uneven bars. She didn’t want to keep competing until her sister had her first competition.

She spent years training to become the best in the gym, then best in the nation, then best in the world. Aliya didn’t care to calculate every hour she spent training. It would be a number far too large for anyone to fathom.

When Aliya won in Rotterdam, she felt like nothing could stop her. The gold medal had been secured for Russia. That was the time of her life. She had also met Aly there, but they never exchanged a single word and barely even a glance. Aliya wanted with all her heart to say London was the best time she ever had. Yet every time Aliya was feeling upset, she went back to Rotterdam where she was innocent, sweet, and a champion.

There was that fateful European Championships soon after with an Amanar gone wrong. Aliya thought her gymnastics was career was over when it had barely begun. Tokyo 2011 was out of the picture. She knew, like everyone else, that the Olympics were up soon. If World Championships could never happen, then Aliya had to go to the Olympics. At least to help rebuild her pride and dignity.

Soon after her long thought process, Aliya fell asleep on her bed with the pillow slammed over her face and the canoe race still on. Viktoria tiptoed into the room and unmuted the television. Immediately, Aliya woke up and looked at the clock. She had slept for two hours straight. Aliya hadn’t had a nap in years. “Vika? When did you come back?” Aliya asked, rubbing her eyes and throwing the pillow at Viktoria, who promptly dodged it.

“Just now, Alka,” Viktoria said, changing the channel.

“Vika! I was watching that race.”

Viktoria started to put her clothes in the small closet that Aliya and her both had to share for the week. “You don’t even understand German. Besides, you weren’t watching. You were sleeping.” Aliya had to agree with that fact.

Aliya rose up from the bed and helped Viktoria unpack her belongings. “So, when is dinner?”

Viktoria didn’t look at Aliya. Avoiding her gaze, she said, “I talked it over with Katya and Evgesha. We’ll eat around six PM.”

Aliya nodded. She didn’t worry about the idea that Aly might be at dinner the same time they were. She just let it go.  
_____________________________________________

Katelyn closed the heavy, wooden door of their dorm room and followed behind Kyla, McKayla, and Aly to Kyla and McKayla’s room. They had spent about one hour settling in and now it was Kyla and McKayla’s turn to enjoy their room together.

Kyla turned the brass key into the lock. McKayla pushed past everyone with her luggage trailing behind her. The rest of the girls exchanged glances. McKayla always had to be the first one to enter the room or make a significant entrance. It was all in the life of Queen McKayla Maroney. And Aly could only be a subject of hers. Aly snorted and pushed Kyla and Katelyn into the room.

McKayla took a step into the room. Under her feet was an envelope, sealed with an inch of tape. “A letter? Why in the world would someone just leave this here for us? Addressed to Pocc.Who the hell is Pocc?” McKayla’s nose wrinkled as she showed the other girls the envelope. “Someone must have terrible English.” Katelyn snickered behind Kyla and Aly, her lip glossed mouth covered behind the fading summer tan on her hand.

McKayla handed the envelope over to Aly, trying to find some explanation for why the envelope was even in the room in the first place. Aly glanced at the lettering. It didn’t look very English to her. With a closer look, Aly figured it out. “It says ‘Ross’ in Russian.” No one asked how Aly even knew Russian. The three girls turned over to Kyla, who was blushing fiercely red and backing into the dorm room, avoiding every move and stare Aly, McKayla, and Katelyn sent her.

“I, uh, I guess that letter is for me then.” Kyla snatched the envelope from Aly without another word. Kyla read it to herself, smiled, and placed her luggage on her bed. “I, um, I’m gonna go explore, ok?” Her hand touched her forehead. Aly could only imagine what Kyla’s idea of exploring entailed.

Katelyn jumped up once before speaking. “Can we go with you, Ky?” McKayla was unpacking already, that busybody, Aly thought.

Kyla reached for the doorknob, saying, “I want to explore by myself. If that’s alright with all of you.”

“Be back before six,” McKayla called out right before Kyla left. “Don’t be late for dinner!” The door was carefully shut behind Kyla, leaving three extremely nervous girls to wonder about what exactly just happened.

Aly sighed and helped McKayla put away her belongings. Katelyn looked out the small dorm room window which barely was any help in bringing light to the room. “Do you guys want to go explore then? Just us three?” Aly asked, her muscles aching from the long plane ride.

McKayla shook her head. “To be honest, Aly, I need a break. I’m about to fall asleep.” To show that she was extremely tired, she fell onto her bed and pretended to snore. Katelyn doubled over with laughter, her black hair falling in her face. “I’m funny, I know,” McKayla smirked, as she used whatever strength she had left to pull herself off the bed. Aly shook her head and kept folding McKayla’s t-shirts.

“We’ll explore tomorrow,” Katelyn responded, with the black circles under her eyes not going to fade anytime soon. Aly nodded. It was better this way. Aly wasn’t fully mentally prepared to see Aliya again. How could she win her back? Aly didn’t create her foolproof plan to get Aliya back in her arms. Everything had to be perfect. Otherwise, why would Aliya even bother with Aly in the first place?

Aly said, “Training starts tomorrow too. Training with all the other gymnasts from around the world. Well, we’re separated by country, kind of, but still. Our competition will be right in front of our faces. No time to explore. We’ll be too worn out to even walk.” McKayla agreed with a small, slightly audible groan. Katelyn sighed.

Three girls with the dream of gold, but none knew how to achieve that dream.

___________________________________________

Aliya picked at her sushi she had gotten from the cafeteria. Viktoria was on her left while seated at a round table for eight. Evgenia and Ekaterina were on Aliya’s right, gossiping about all the drama that occurred at Krugloye Ozero when they were gone. It hadn’t even been a day yet. Aliya rolled her eyes and stuffed one California roll into her mouth. She tried to get the word “California” out of her head. Anything American reminded Aliya of Aly, and frankly, Aliya didn’t want to remember anything about that American with ugly form.

Viktoria had a small, shy smile on her face. “Shto, Vika?” Aliya asked. She tried to follow Viktoria’s gaze, but gave up. The bright lights in the cafeteria made the place feel as if it had a cold chill. White covered the walls, floor, and all the other furniture. Like Siberia, Aliya thought to herself. The competition was certainly icy between cold stares and skimpy leotards. A more demanding version of Krugloye Ozero nearing a major international competition when every girl was vying for a spot on the team.

“Oh, Alka!” Viktoria exclaimed, pushing her blonde hair out of her face. “The Americans are here.” Aliya made out of the corner her eye four Americans, all relatively short, prim and proper holding trays of food, looking for a place to sit. Ohashi, the new girl, was taking in the sights of all the gymnastics greats. Aliya smirked. She’d be having some fun this week. Ross, the next destined American all-around star; Aliya liked her to a certain degree, but Ross would have lots of work to defeat her. Maroney, Maroney, Maroney. For what she did to Maria’s heart, silver was payback. It was as if everything was in a storybook. And lastly, Aly Raisman. Aliya sent her a cold stare, but it seemed as if Aly was avoiding Aliya’s eye.

This was going to be an interesting dinner.

Aliya and Viktoria’s eye followed the Americans over to a table for eight only occupied the Chinese team. Ekaterina and Evgenia kept talking, not minding the two veterans. Right before the Americans could sit down, the Australian team promptly took the seats. Viktoria shook her head, however, Aliya couldn’t help but snort, causing all conversation at their table to cease. She returned to eating her sushi.

Viktoria still watched every move and Aliya suddenly remembered that she liked an American. Was it one of them?

In a few minutes time, Aliya looked up and saw brown eyes staring right at her. “Hi, Aliya.”

Done.

She looked around the table and saw Ross next to Viktoria, carrying on a friendly conversation about their new floor music. In English, of course, though it seemed Ross knew some Russian like “shto?” or “da”. Ohashi and Maroney were discussing with Ekaterina and Evgenia who the hottest male gymnast was. They were acquainted quickly. Aliya resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead focused in on her sushi, allowing her dark hair to block her right eye. She couldn’t even wonder which American Viktoria liked because Aly’s presence was too nauseating. 

“Are you going to respond to me, Aliya? I know you are quite good at English,” Aly said after swallowing a bite of her pasta. Aliya didn’t respond and instead finished her sushi. For the next ten minutes, Aly attempted to start conversations with Aliya by asking her how training was and if it was cold in Moscow. Aliya never said a word until Ekaterina asked her a question.

“Alka, can we go to Katelyn’s room to watch a movie? Pazhalsta? She invited all four of us, not just Evgesha and I. Pazhalsta, Alka!” Ekaterina’s gray-blue eyes widened with hope and pleading. How was Aliya going to say no to her teammate? And Aliya couldn’t help but notice that Ekaterina called Ohashi by her first name.

Aliya sighed. She wasn’t going to win this battle. Plus, Aly might not be with Katelyn rooming together, so Aliya could dodge another bullet. “Fine, Katya.” Ekaterina relayed this information to Ohashi and Maroney who were intently listening and trying their best to understand the difficult language of Russian.

The three other girls were giggling as they left the cafeteria and followed the Americans to their dorm room. Viktoria and Ross had joined the conversation between Ekaterina, Evgenia, Ohashi, and Maroney. Aly and Aliya were trailing them by a few feet. Night had fallen on the German city. Streetlights were lighting up the road. “So, Aliya, why won’t you talk to me? I’m not that repulsive, am I?” Aly widened her eyes to make her seem innocent and naive. Aliya waved her away.

“Aliya, I haven’t done anything wrong to you. When we used to fight, you would say, ‘don’t fix anything that isn’t broken’, and we’re broken, Aliya. I want to fix it now.” Aly looked upwards toward the sky and the stars.

Aliya sped up her pace, but Aly was trailing right behind her. “Are you even listening to me, Aliya?” Aly shouted; not loud enough to reach the ears of the others.

“Don’t,” Aliya replied, the first word she had said to Aly in months. “Don’t try to talk to me. We’re broken, and I want it that way.”

____________________________________________________

The room was filled with tension and nervousness. It was only the first night in Antwerp and already USA and Russia were hanging out together. Quick, but the girls liked it that way. McKayla held out a copy of Mean Girls. “Kyla, Katelyn, Aly, you guys wanna watch this bad boy?” Kyla crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue before returning to her conversation with Viktoria. Yes, Aly was positive that Viktoria Komova was the one Kyla liked.

Katelyn said, “Sure, I don’t care all that much, Mack.” The small window was open, letting the cold breeze in. It soothed Aly.

“Don’t forget to put on Russian subtitles,” Aly said, she on her bed staring at the ceiling, wondering how to get Aliya. Katelyn was on the foot of the bed with Ekaterina, Evgenia, and McKayla, the three gossipy ones. Kyla and Viktoria were on the other bed, talking about who-knows-what. Aliya was sitting on the floor, her mind lost in thought.

And as the movie began, Aly couldn’t help but think about all the memories she shared with the one person she loved most.


	6. Boyfriend (Girlfriend)

Have you ever had the feeling you’re drawn to someone  
And it isn’t anything they could’ve said or done  
Every day I see you on your own and I can’t believe that you’re alone  
‘Cause I overheard your girls and this is what they said

Aliya took her seat by Evgenia and Ekaterina. They were up early in the morning, just like at Krugloye Ozero. Watching a movie so late at night with the Americans was not the wisest choice, but still, the Russians knew how to wake up early. The movie was also pretty hilarious, Aliya had to admit. Aliya never knew American high school was that rough. If she was placed in that high school, she’d hate it with a passion. She never even enjoyed the small amounts of drama that occurred at Krugloye Ozero.

The alternates, Maria and Anastasia, were arriving today, late at night, after training. Even though Maria was most certainly drama-filled, she was nice company to have around. As long as Maria didn’t see Maroney, all would be well at Antwerp. Anastasia was very calm and peaceful, which was great to have at Krugloye Ozero and even at competitions where she could bring everyone to order.

Viktoria was happily finishing up her canister of yogurt, Greek, of course. Something about dietary restrictions and such only allowed them to have Greek yogurt. Not like any of them minded. Evgenia was rambling on and on about how happy she would be seeing her “Masha and Nastya” again. Ekaterina was twirling her blonde hair around her index finger while agreeing with Evgenia. Aliya loved these girls with all her heart.

 

The Americans, fortunately, were not sitting with them anymore. They had lodged themselves at a table with the British, because apparently being around people who didn’t speak their language didn’t work out for them. Not that Aliya minded at all. She didn’t want to be anywhere near Aly Raisman, to have her constantly remind Aliya of what they had before everything fell apart. The whole reason Aliya broke up with Aly was to have her off her back, and it was fruitless. Viktoria’s eyes were on that table when she wasn’t focused on her Greek yogurt.

“Vika!” Viktoria still didn’t let up her gaze on that English table. “Vika! Viktoria!” Viktoria finally turned around to Aliya, her spoon still in her mouth.

“Shto, Alka?” Viktoria’s eyebrows raised as she threw her yogurt away. Aliya sighed. This would be interesting; having to intervene like this. Thank goodness the cafeteria was relatively loud and no one was paying attention. The Americans looked like a train wreck with Ohashi slurping her milk, Ross falling asleep over her oatmeal, Maroney brainlessly eating toast, and Aly was stirring a milkshake, as if the circular motion would keep her awake. Getting up before the sun rose must have not been a natural occurrence for them.

“Which American do you like?” Aliya asked all in one breath. The air had gotten stiff. Aliya secretly wished it wouldn’t be Raisman. If it was Aly, Aliya would potentially maim her dear friend. No, I don’t like Aly, Aliya thought to herself. Viktoria can have her if she wants. It doesn’t seem like they have a mutual fling going on, but still. Aliya braced herself for a clear cut answer.

Viktoria sighed, tapping her impatient fingers on the table. “How about you tell me who you think I like?” Ekaterina and Evgenia caught the tail end of Viktoria’s question and cocked their heads at Aliya. It seemed the whole room was quiet.

Aliya shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant about all of this. Thank goodness no one at Krugloye Ozero ever found out about Aly like this. Aliya had the nerve to tell them one-on-one in private. “I guess that you like Ross. Kyla Ross.” Ekaterina giggled behind her palm. Evgenia raised her eyebrows at Viktoria, causing her to blush a bright red.

“Nice one, Alka. You got it right. Pazhalsta, don’t tell anyone else.” Ekaterina and Evgenia’s eyes grew wide at the fact that Viktoria could even keep up with a long-distance relationship. She used to not even be able to keep up with Krugloye Ozero drama. Aliya smirked. At least Kyla was worthy of a choice.

One mystery solved by Aliya Mustafina, gymnast detective from the Russian Federation. Now all she had left to figure out was how to win the gold medal in the all-around while simultaneously keeping Alexandra Raisman from the United States of America off her back.

Challenge accepted. It wasn’t a World Championship for nothing.

____________________________________________

Aly and her teammates were walking on the road to the gym. The Russians, Romanians, and Chinese left about ten minutes ago to the training gym. The four best teams in the world were given a gym together. Four vault tables, four uneven bar sets, four balance beams, and four floor practice areas were going to be there for them to utilize. All their coaches were going to be supervising the gymnasts as normal.

McKayla was going to spend the majority of her time at the vault, though she’d head over for floor practice and possibly uneven bars and beam conditioning if possible. Katelyn, Kyla, and Aly were going to be at all the apparatuses at equal times. Hopefully she and Aliya would have some time to talk during training, whether that be lunch or training.

“So, do we actually talk to the gymnasts from other countries at training?” Katelyn asked, timing her steps to Aly’s perfectly. The four of them were wearing matching track suits with their coaches walking right behind them.

“Not exactly,” Aly replied, her voice low. “Sometimes, but not often. Don’t worry about it, Katelyn,” Aly reassured her, looking down and watching her footsteps hit the sidewalk. It was cloudy outside and rain seemed imminent.

“Ok,” Katelyn said, her eyes on the small blobs entering a building which were the gymnasts from the “big four”. Kyla and McKayla were walking as zombies; half-asleep monsters ready to attack the gymnastics equipment.

Aly didn’t speak for the rest of the walk and instead let Kyla, McKayla, and Katelyn chat like gossipy old women. She thought about how glossy Aliya’s hair was yesterday and how her eyes didn’t shine like they used to when they saw Aly. She had fallen out of favor way too quickly. How had Aliya changed over the past few months? The last time they had talked was right before the start of 2013. Attempts were made to keep in contact on Aly’s part. Aliya rejected everything except for the Instagram follow. That move gave Aly some hope.

When they entered the gym, the other countries were waiting with them with a Worlds volunteer. “And here are the Americans,” she said, tapping her pencil on her clipboard. Her gray hair was twisted into a high bun. Aly led her three teammates to the helm of the sixteen gymnasts. They weren’t going to be behind the others when they knew they would win.

The volunteer directed their attention to all the equipment in the room, but Aly was more focused on Aliya. Her hair was around her face with tendrils shaped around her face, making her look angelic. Aliya wasn’t an angel, Aly told herself. She couldn’t help but notice the new curves and scars that Aliya had gained while Aly wasn’t around. Aly didn’t think she had changed a bit, yet Aliya had.

“Aliya,” Aly whispered once they made their way to the floor mats. Aliya promptly ignored her and circled around to the other side where the Romanians were. Aly sighed and kept her eyes on her ex-girlfriend. Her eyes were on the prize and to take her eyes off of it would be negligence.

The volunteer announced that the gymnasts could begin their training regime. McKayla immediately ran to stake her claim on the vault. Aly chuckled to herself for a moment before heading to one of the floor mats with Mihai immediately trailing her.

Aliya was on the mat right next to her. This training session was going to get good.

_______________________________________________________

Aliya almost screamed, but held her breath in as she stretched in center split. Aly was right next to her. Last night seemed to not lodge in Aly’s dimwit brain. Aliya had basically mandated that Aly not talk to her ever and to not even attempt to recreate what they had. Aliya wasn’t going to give in to a boring, loser American. She hadn’t even known how Aly even got with her. Aliya picked at her pink tank-top and black leggings. Maybe this training session would go by without a single word or glance.

Aliya tried to look at where the Romanian Larisa Iordache was and instead saw Aly waving at her. She immediately looked the other way where Yao Jinnan was cartwheeling across the floor. This was not going to work out.

Viktoria was on the beam, working on a few of her transitions. Her red, sleeveless leotard was a bit loose on her body. Ross was on the beam next to her practicing her leaps. Within the ten minutes it took Aliya to stretch out her muscles perfectly, Viktoria and Ross would share glances and encouraging whispers. When both of them had dismounted for the first time, they gave each other a low high-five that only Aliya saw. The two girls, one blonde and the other brunette, were giggling as they trained. Aliya had to admit, they were very cute together. Maybe Aliya would start calling Ross, Kyla, instead.

She couldn’t look at the two lovers for long though. It reminded her too much of what had happened with Aly. All the dates in London on the London Eye or just exploring the Olympic Village together. In secret, of course. The dates they had via Skype. The kisses they stole in the moonlight, hoping no one would see. The inside jokes they had between Aliya’s broken English and Aly’s even worse Russian. The long phone calls once Aly got an international calling card. That hour before the start of 2013 when everything changed for the both of them.

The memories played back in her head like an annoying song she couldn’t get out of her head. Aliya could escape many things, but she couldn’t escape the one thing that hurt her the most: her past.

“Aliya,” Aliya heard. It was Aly’s voice. Instead, she signaled Alexandrov to turn on her floor music so she could work on some of her upgrades. Aliya could hear the pulsing beat in her head as she began her first tumbling pass. With each step she took, she used all her energy to put in passion. Every word of love she and Aly had exchanged Aliya used as fuel to keep going. One word after one was crushed under Aliya’s tumbling and dance steps. By the end, Aliya was tired and sweating, yet Aly was essentially pounded out of her hand.

“Khorosho, Alka. Otlichno. That was one of the best routines I have seen you perform,” Alexandrov said, patting Aliya on the back. “Just that third tumbling pass might have been a bit better. If we’re nitpicking here,” he went on with a wink. “Repeat that pass a few times and we’ll run it again.” Aliya nodded, not bothering to argue with her coach. She tucked a loose end of her hair back and ran through her third pass ten times.

The air was filled with tension and nervous sweat. “Can we run the routine again?” Aliya asked her coach, watching her competition, Aly, complete another solid pass. Alexandrov turned up Aliya’s floor music. Aliya positioned her body in her starting pose. This was going to be a great routine, she told herself as the opening chord cued her in.

After her clean second tumbling pass, she heard, “Davai!” that did not match her Russian teammates’ voice. Quickly, Aliya remembered Viktoria was on beam, Evgenia was on vault, and Ekaterina was swinging around on the bars. The voice sounded so familiar and the pronunciation of the word wasn’t quite right.

American Aly. Couldn’t the girl take a hint? Aliya didn’t like her at all. Why did Aly keep trying? At least she had perseverance.

Aliya was an eighth-note out of the time. It ruined the rest of the tumbling and dance moves and ended a second after the music had finished. “Aliya!” Alexandrov shouted, running up to her and embracing her. “That was one of the best third passes I’ve seen you do.”

“I was so out of time. It was not a good performance. Let’s run it again,” Aliya ordered, going back to her beginning pose.

She wouldn’t give up until her routine was perfect and would beat everyone in the whole competition.

________________________________________________

Aly dismounted from the uneven bars with a loud grunt. She saved her worst event for last. It wasn’t the best idea; Aly was tired and unfocused. Not to mention Aliya was on the bars set right next to her, pounding away with a smile. Aly knew this was Aliya’s best event, having won an Olympic gold medal. To even try to get to her level was another story.

“Aly, try that dismount again,” her coach sternly told her, a pencil in his mouth. “Run it back. See what you did wrong.” Aly rolled her eyes, but did what she was told and hopped on the lower bar. She didn’t bother attracting Aliya’s attention. Aly didn’t want her to see her at her lowest point.

Aly maneuvered around the bars until the gym closed. As she packed up her belongings to go to dinner, she bumped into Aliya who was packing up too. “I’m sorry,” Aliya said immediately. As Aly watched Aliya scramble out of the gym, she realized that those two words were the most genuine thing Aliya had said to her the whole year.


	7. Summer Days

Take me back to those summer days  
Where the sun shined down  
On your golden face  
And I forget the way you smiled at me

Aly remembered the first time she ever saw Aliya Mustafina in the flesh.

Rebecca, with her bouncy blonde curls, tugged Aly’s hand; the tan was fading away from her soft skin. Rotterdam was a very interesting place for a gymnastics tournament, indeed. “Come on, Aly! We have to explore.”

Aly whined, “Why?” and twisted out of Rebecca’s grip. She held her wrist close to her stomach. “I don’t know any of the other gymnasts and don’t plan on meeting anyone new here. Aren’t we not supposed to be friendly with competitors?” She stalked off back to her dorm room until she felt Rebecca’s hand on her wrist again.

 

“Aly, come on!” Rebecca squealed as she led Aly once more to the elevators. “It’s not like we’re being friendly to competitors, ok? We’re just going to take a look around the dorm building. No big deal.” Aly calmed herself by tugging on her long brown hair. She was a first-year senior this year; chosen by Marta Karolyi to attend the World Championships. All Aly ever wanted was to represent her country at a major international gymnastics tournament, and now here she was. She wanted to prove to the world that she deserved a spot on the team.

She wasn’t the star of team by far. But Aly knew she had to post good scores to help the team in any way she could. Maybe she’d qualify for all-around or event finals, and maybe she wouldn’t. All she wished for was one medal on her neck. Any color. Just one.

Rebecca pressed the button for the elevator to go down. After a minute, the elevator doors opened and Aly let go of Rebecca’s hand in order to get in the elevator first. She slammed into someone who was coming out of the elevator.

“Oh my goodness, I am so so sorry!” Aly cried out. “Are you alright?” Rebecca burst out laughing, doubling over in hysterical laughter. The girl who Aly had crashed into tucked her dark hair behind her ear, gaining composure by the second. Aly took the girl by her shoulders. “You must be fine, right?”

The girl ran out of the elevator and Aly followed her. Rebecca held the elevator button to keep the doors open. “I am ok. Do not worry,” the girl said in broken, choppy English with a heavy accent. She looked familiar to Aly, but she couldn’t pinpoint it. “I am Aliya Mustafina. Russia. Meet you to good.” It took everything in Aly to keep from laughing.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Alexandra Raisman from the United States.” Aly gave her a brief smile and Aliya returned it, though Aly was quite sure Aliya had no idea what Aly was even talking about. Rebecca signaled with her hand for Aly to stop talking and come in the elevator. “I have to go. Goodbye, Aliya.”

“Alexandra,” Aliya whispered as Aly entered the elevators and the doors closed. “Alexandra Raisman.”

And when Aliya won the all-around, Aly was standing-by, silently cheering her on.

_______________________________________________

The backstage area where the eight teams were getting ready before going into the arena was packed with sparkles, eyeliner pencils, and bobby pins galore. None of the teams were really socializing with each other, though it was obvious that people were talking due to the loud noise in the room. Foreign languages spoken at loud volume pierced through Aliya’s ears. Well, except for the copious amounts of English being spoken.

Aliya glanced over at where the Americans were and ended up catching herself staring at Aly Raisman, team USA’s cheerful, reliable captain. Don’t stare at her, Aliya reminded herself. She is going to get beaten today. You are the winner of the team final already. Imagine that gold medal on your neck with four of your teammates and best friends. You could have everything you ever wanted. Do not mess this up.

Aliya looked once more just as a guilty pleasure. She didn’t know how to talk to Aly. Sure, her English had greatly improved since Rotterdam, but that didn’t mean a thing. Aliya would end up babbling in Russian because she’d get so nervous. She wasn’t too nervous for the Olympics, but talking to someone from another nation was a whole different ballgame, so to speak.

She twisted her hair up and pinned it. Her teammates were obnoxiously discussing what scores everyone would need in order to win. Aliya wanted to win, yes, but she didn’t want to talk about the competition. Anything else besides that. Like maybe how good Pavel looked yesterday or something. A topic to distract her for long enough before they entered the arena. Aliya took a deep breath, hoping her teammates would notice. Viktoria looked at her with a nervous expression, however, didn’t speak a word.

“Hey,” someone said behind Aliya. Aliya turned around to see Aly in her red leotard, big bun glory. “You remember me, Aliya? We bumped into each other in Rotterdam?” Aly giggled anxiously, awaiting for a response.

Aliya did her best not to fall into Aly’s chocolate brown eyes. “Yes, I do remember you. Alexandra Raisman. You did good at Tokyo.” Maria and Ksenia stopped their obnoxious talking and stared at Aliya and Aly as if they were crazy robbers on the loose. Aly kept on grinning, ignoring the fact that the whole room virtually got silent and awkwardness was surrounding them.

“You can call me Aly,” she said. Aly handed her a piece of paper and whispered in her ear, “visit me sometime. I get kinda lonely.” The noise picked up in the room after Aly left Aliya, making Aliya wonder what the hell just happened.

______________________________________________________

“Aly, do not be upset,” Aliya said, soothing Aly from the doorway. Aly’s head was in her hands, hiding her tears from the rest of the world. “You deserved that bronze medal as much as me.” Aly sat up on her bed and thanked Aliya with a small smile before retreating back in her tears. Her makeup was running down her face in small streams.

“Oh, dorogaya,” Aliya murmured when she decided to walk into the room and sit next to Aly, embracing her shoulders and rocking her as if she was a small child. “Do not be upset.” Aliya wiped Aly’s tears with her left hand. This had happened in Tokyo too, where she was so close to winning a medal, but in the end, just couldn’t do it. This time, the margin was even slimmer. Aliya definitely did earn it. Yet Aly couldn’t help but feel disappointed in herself. Perhaps Jordyn should’ve taken the spot instead. “If it were any other day, you would have beat me,” Aliya said, in an attempt to cheer Aly up.

Aly shook her head to stop crying, but one look in Aliya’s eyes and she was back in tears. Aliya took the bronze medal from her sweatshirt pocket and hung it around Aly’s neck. “There you go, Aly.” Aly took the medal in both of her hands, wiping her tears with her blanket. It glimmered in the moonlight coming in from the small window.

“Thank you,” Aly said, taking the medal off her neck. She caressed the purple ribbon once with her index finger before handing it back to Aliya. “But it’s not mine. I didn’t win it.” Aly threw it over Aliya’s neck. Aliya felt tears brimming in her eyes, ready to spill over. She didn’t want to see someone so reliable and strong like this; sad and moody.

“Aly -” Aliya started. Aly’s heart was racing, but tears weren’t falling anymore. An eerie hush fell in the room. Aliya had the sudden urge to hug Aly and leave; the next thing she knew, Aly’s soft, luscious lips were on hers. They were moving in unison and for once, Aliya didn’t want to leave her.

______________________________________________

“I can’t believe we both placed in floor!” Aly squealed as she grabbed Aliya’s hand. They maneuvered around the London crowd. A trip to the London Eye was necessary. Aly had went with her teammates yesterday; going with Aliya meant something more. The two of them never regarded each other as girlfriends. Every time Aly looked Aliya, her heart pounded with waves of sentimental love. She loved it.

Aliya adjusted her black tank top while still holding on to Aly’s hand. “I am also not believing as well.” Aly chuckled softly to herself at Aliya’s awful English. “We are both very good gymnasts.” Aly smiled as they approached the large London Eye.

“Do you want to go on the swings as well?” Aly asked, pointing upward to swings circling around and around in the sky. Aliya stared up and clutched Aly’s hand.

She took a deep breath in and out. “I will go as long as you come with me.” Aly nodded while she bought tickets to get on the London Eye. A five minute wait. “Aly, will you continue gymnastics when the Olympics end?” Aly stood still with shock. No one had asked her what her life would be like after the Olympics; her life being gymnastics. Would she bother to try for Rio or even Antwerp?

“I’m not sure, Aliya,” Aly said, tapping her fingers on her forearm. “I haven’t a clue what will happen after this is all said and done. There’s the Kellogg’s tour, which is gymnastics…”

Aliya interrupted, “What is that?”

The two of them boarded the pod that would take them all the way up on the ferris wheel. Holding Aliya’s hand once more, Aly described the tour, “we travel the country and perform gymnastics for our fans. It’s supposed to be a load of fun and a break for us after years of competing to try to make it to the Olympics.”

“Like a victory tour.” The door to the pod shut and Aly took out her phone to capture the scenery. Aliya did the same.

“Yeah, kinda.”

A silence fell. Aly’s heart was racing. She couldn’t believe she was here with Aliya Mustafina, of all people. All the happiness in the world was right in front of her. She wished to cherish this moment and keep in her heart for forever. Every time she felt upset, Aly knew she would come back to this day where she and Aliya connected in more than one way.

Aly and Aliya discussed culture in their nations and how they felt about objectification of women as well as ethnic differences. Aly and Aliya couldn’t be more different. But at the top of the London Eye, overlooking the whole city, they kissed and everything else faded away. All they needed was romantic music and a narrator to say they would live happily ever after.

_______________________________________________________

“Are you alright, Aly?” Aliya said through her cell phone. She had just gotten word from Ksenia that Aly had fallen off the uneven bars at the tour and was injured. No word yet on how bad the injury was, but Aliya was extremely concerned. She felt bad for Maroney, who had also fell. But it wasn’t as if Aliya cared about her. Maria was still upset about that fling.

She heard some mumbling in the background, and then a clear voice rang out, “I’m fine. Just a few bruises and cuts. I’ll be ok and back in shape quickly. It’s Mack I’m worried about.”

Aliya’s roommate entered the room. Aliya whispered, “who’s Mack? Maroney?”

Aly sighed, “Yeah. It’s rough. She might have to get surgery.” Aliya gasped, even if she felt Maroney was a heartless girl. An injury like that could cost her a career. Maroney had experienced a lot of injuries over the past few months. Another one wasn’t going to do her any good. A deep pang ran in Aliya’s chest. She had been in her position before with an injury that no one thought she’d recover from. Now that she was the most decorated gymnast at the Olympics, that view had changed.

“I hope you get better. Feel my love from Russia go all the way to the United States.” Once Aliya said that, she instantly regretted it. Aliya loved Aly, yes, yet she thought it was way too soon to even begin discussing love. Aliya didn’t want to seem attached to Aly. Falling in love was never easy for her. Aly was unique and special.

“Well, same goes for you, my beautiful Aliya. Don’t worry about me. Our love can stretch across the globe.”

They talked for a few more minutes before Aliya had to board the train from her home in Moscow to Krugloye Ozero. It was going to be challenging to keep up a workload of training in Krugloye Ozero and talk to Aly as much as Aliya wanted. But if Aly loved Aliya like she said she did, Aliya didn’t care. All her sacrifices were worth it.

_______________________________________________

“Aliya, you did amazing at the Stuttgart World Cup!” Aly squealed at her computer, where Aliya was on the screen. Aly had woken up early in the morning to catch a livestream of it; thank goodness for Tumblr. She had cancelled her Saturday training session at Brestyan’s in order to watch the competition. And it wasn’t like it was in vain; Aly would get some very valuable knowledge on how the other gymnasts were faring, including Elizabeth Price, her USA teammate.

Aly could hear Aliya’s tired, ragged breathing through the computer. “Spasibo, Aly. I’m really tired now. Can we talk later?” Aly also heard a few male voices in the background. She held her hands in fists to drive the intense feelings of jealousy away. Aliya would never cheat on her with anyone. She had seen the pictures from VK, but they weren’t anything serious. For all Aly knew, they could’ve been taken before the Olympics.

“Yeah, I’ll call you later. Maybe I’ll train at the gym today.” Aly opened up her email and messaged Mihai. Aliya gave her a small smile and a wave.

“Good. I hope to see you soon, dorogaya.” Aliya clicked the “sign out” button on her Skype. Aly finished the email before realizing that Aliya had left their conversation. Aly held her breath for a few seconds, reminding herself that Aliya loved her and nothing could come between them. Nothing. Their love stretched around the Earth.

Then she got ready for a grueling session in the gym.

___________________________________________________

“Hey, Aliya,” Aly said as she opened up her phone. The party had just gotten underway to celebrate the New Year. 2012 was the best year of Aly’s life by far. 2013 was looking to be quite good as well. A chance to attend the World Championships as long as having Aliya Mustafina by her side. All was going according to plan.

“Are you drunk?” Aliya asked immediately. Aliya was in the bathroom stall, hoping no one would come in. This discussion had to happen, and fast. Aliya had tried to prolong this conversation for about a month now. Feelings change and people change, but nothing could make Aliya want to do this to Aly any less. The black walls seemed to close in on her. Calm down, she told herself. Aly won’t mind.

Aly gripped the bathroom door for balance as she tried to find an empty stall. “No. I had a drink… or two…” She attempted to keep her speaking crisp and not to slur. She didn’t have that much to drink anyway, and Aly didn’t really want to be known as a lightweight.

“I have to talk to you about something seriously,” Aliya whispered in the phone.

“Go ahead,” Aly replied, locking the stall door. “What do you need, my love?” Aliya almost gagged.

Aliya took a deep breath in and out. “I do not want to date you anymore.”

Aly put her mouth to her hand and muffled her scream for one minute. “But… but, Aliya, why? You love me and I love you. We were going to start the new year together. Aliya, please please please don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to us.” Aly slid down the stall door, tears streaming down her face. What she thought of as a great day in her life fell down the drain.

“I have to. I don’t love you like I used to.” Aliya wanted to cry too, but it would be no use. Aliya didn’t harbor any feelings for Aly. They were over. Clean and simple.

“Please, Aliya, please, we are meant to be-”

“I’m sorry.”

Click.


	8. When I Was Your (Wo)Man

I should’ve bought you flowers  
And held your hand  
Should’ve gave you all my hours  
When I had the chance

Aliya entered in the gym, her team of four following behind the Americans who were headed off to the uneven bars. The Romanians and Chinese were following the Russians, going to the balance beam and floor, respectively. Podium training was always a great time. Laid-back and relaxed, all the while watching the competition and see their weaknesses. Observe the new seniors. Test out the new equipment. Aliya enjoyed the event as much as she could.

She led her teammates to a row of folded chairs. Aliya took off her team Russia warm-up jacket and ran over to the chalk. Aly was far, far away from her and that’s all she needed. Aliya didn’t want Aly to be near her and to have her constantly annoy her. Podium training was a training time for a reason.

Aliya glanced over at the Americans out of curiosity. Ohashi was warming up on the uneven bars already, transitioning from high bar to low bar and back. Ross was fastening up her grips and talking to Maroney who was chalking herself up. What was Maroney doing, getting within a one foot radius of the bars? Probably just testing the equipment. It wasn’t Aliya’s concern. And Aly was stretching out in center split. Before Aly could catch her eye, Aliya was chalking up her hands, watching Ekaterina hit the vault. 

Cameras were clicking, since professional photographers could take photos of the event. Aliya did her best to distract herself from the noise. She saw out of the corner of her eye Ekaterina finishing up her vault timers. Viktoria was still stretching by the chalk and Evgenia didn’t seem as if she was ready to start on the new equipment yet. Aliya nodded to Ekaterina, who gave her the vault.

Aliya ran to the vaulting table and performed her timers one by one, until her breath was ragged and Viktoria was tapping her foot impatiently. After Viktoria and Evgenia warmed up, Ekaterina performed her vault, which resulted in applause from her teammates. It wasn’t as if she was going to vault finals, but Aliya knew that Ekaterina would only progress from here. 

“Davai, Alka!” Ekaterina whispered in her ear as they passed each other. Aliya gripped Ekaterina’s hand for a brief second and let go. She adjusted her red and white leotard before staring at Alexandrov for a head nod to let her begin vaulting. Alexandrov gave her a nod and a smile, which threw Aliya off a bit as she ran, did a roundoff, and hit the vault. All at once, Aliya saw the ground with her eyes and felt her knees shatter into a million pieces.

“Aliya, are you alright?” It was Aly’s voice. Aliya lifted herself up off the mat with her hands. She didn’t need Aly’s help. Her knees were flashing bright red. Qualifications was not going to be easy. With a deep breath, she vowed not to look into Aly’s deep, brown eyes. They would reveal too much about the feelings Aly still harbored for the Russian.

Aliya walked back to the start of the vault runway, but heard Aly’s footsteps behind her. Aliya abruptly stopped. It seemed like the whole arena was staring at the both of them. “I am fine, Aly! Go train with your little American teammates and pretend that you are still better than everyone!” Aliya ran back to chalk her hands again. Turning back to the vault table, Aly was gone, back to the uneven bars. Not on the bars, but at least she wasn’t gazing at Aliya anymore. Aliya sighed, the sequins on her leotard moving up and down.

She ran, did a roundoff and backspring onto the vault, and twisted two-and-a-half times in the air. A large hop, but Aliya did the Amanar successfully. She fist-pumped into the air. Her teammates shouted, “Khorosho!” “Otlichno!” “Whoo, Alka!” Aliya did a little curtsy and ran over to Alexandrov with open arms. “My, my, my, Alka. How well you’ve been doing. That fall clearly shaped you up to not fall again in this arena.” Aliya looked up at all the lights shining down on the arena. She could not fail like before. There was no more room for error. It was all or nothing. And Aliya was aiming to end up with it all in her hands.

__________________________________________________

Aly blew on her hands with a hot puff of air from her mouth. White chalk swirled around the air like freshly falling snow. The flashes from all the fancy, professional cameras was getting on her nerves. It didn’t help that Aliya had completely made a fool of her a few minutes ago when Aliya had fallen on her knees and Aly ran to her rescue. She was only trying to help and then bam! She was shot down.

Aly stared down to see her blue and white leotard. She liked this one much better than the pepto-bismol pink one they had sported back at London’s podium training. It was sophisticated, elegant, and matched everyone’s skin tone perfectly. Not like that ugly hot pink thing Aly basically ripped off once training was done. It still scarred Aly’s mind.

Kyla dismounted from the uneven bars with her signature double layout dismount. With a smile and a normal judge salute, she triumphantly celebrated a clean routine. Aly clapped while Katelyn and McKayla let out glass-piercing screams and squeals. Kyla ran off the mat to her helpful teammates where large embraces ensued. None of the other teams were this friendly with each other. Aly was happy to have girls like them around her, even if they weren’t Aliya with stares sent straight from Siberia. The Chinese on the beam weren’t helping with the nervous anxiety Aly felt. They were stunning.

It was Aly’s turn and she knew she had to own the uneven bars. It was the one event where she could instantly lose the title. Aly went through the motions of her routine on the new equipment. It was strange, foreign, and perfect. She wobbled on her handstand position a few seconds before her dismount. Her thoughts were mangled in her head between Aliya and the fact this routine was going from bad to ugly in a flash. As Aly dismounted, she just thought to herself that if she fell, everyone would laugh at her. Reliable Raisman no more. She hit the mat with a large grunt, but at least she stuck the dismount. Leaning forward, Aly pretended the salute and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

McKayla ran up to Aly, the silver sparkles from her hair falling on Aly’s leotard as they embraced. “That was great, Aly!” McKayla said in her high-pitched wail. McKayla was the most supportive person, even if her uneven bars had the potential to be the worst on Team USA. “Don’t fret about that missed handstand,” she remarked, waving it off with her right hand. “You’ll be fine.” That statement from McKayla was probably the most false thing she’d ever heard, except for Aliya’s declaration of love.

Kyla gave Aly a brief hug and whispered, “you’ll do better next time. Don’t sweat it.” Kyla released Aly and her mouth twitched, giving Aly a nervous smile. At least there was no team final. Aly would only humiliate herself and not the rest of her team. She hoped that wasn’t what Kyla was thinking in her head as she went to go talk to McKayla. Aly knew to keep her tears in until after podium training and qualifications. The competition had only just begun.

It didn’t help that Aly was almost certain it would be her last.

______________________________________________________

Aliya made sure to hit every handstand position in her uneven bars routine. It was the one event Aliya was positive she would win, just like last year. Every move was done in a signature Mustafina way. Toes pointed and elegant form that made Aly’s uneven bars look like trash. Aliya stifled a giggle as she prepared for her eponymous dismount. Around and around she swung until she twisted in the air, landing gently and sticking it.

She saluted and a smile spread on her face. Her teammates clapped and Ekaterina shouted, “Khorosho, Alka!” Aliya ran off the mat for they had a minute to spare before the next rotation. The bars were not familiar and worn down like the ones in Krugloye Ozero. It reminded Aliya of where they were.

Evgenia asked Aliya as they were packing up, “why did Raisman help you after you fell? Does she still like you or something? You’d think that she’d despise you after everything that happened last year.” Aliya sighed and shrugged her shoulders as she took her backpack and threw it over her shoulder. Aliya didn’t ever understand Aly and her ways.

“Oh well,” Evgenia continued. “We all have our own. I mean, Katya did get with Samuel Mikulak last night, if you know what I mean.” She winked her right blue eye as they made their way to the balance beam. Aliya clenched her fist involuntarily, Viktoria snorted as if she couldn’t believe it, and Ekaterina’s pale face blushed a fire-red.

“Evgesha, you weren’t supposed to tell!”

“Please, you told everyone back at Krugloye Ozero anyway.”

Viktoria moaned, “can we please just focus on the gymnastics? Hook up with guys later, like, after the competition is said and done and we can explore Antwerp.”

“We’ll do the damage control later, Katya. But why would you even consider Mikulak? He’s at least like five years older than you. And he’s American. My goodness, why do us Russians always choose the Americans?” Aliya shook her head, some of the hair glitter falling out. “Katya, don’t go back to his room the whole trip. You know it’s bad enough as it is.” Everything was racing through Aliya’s mind, all the moments she shared at night with Aly when no one could see and everything was beautiful.

Ekaterina whispered, “I really do like him.”

“Focus on the gymnastics,” Viktoria said. “Pazhalsta.”

If only Aliya could follow Viktoria’s words. Focusing on gymnastics was what Aliya came for, but it wasn’t going to be easy.

______________________________________________

Aly and Kyla were watching Katelyn move around the beam. Kyla had performed a nearly flawless routine and Aly’s was looking mighty fine as well. Katelyn was rocking it and her connections were well-timed, finishing with an elegant and stuck cold dismount. Katelyn mounted the beam to perform once more. Aly could only help but realize Katelyn would certainly take her place as a balance beam medalist.

Aly, in order to break the ice, muttered, “So, Kyla. You like Komova.” Kyla immediately blushed. Is this what Aly looked like when someone interrogated her about Aliya? She put Aliya out of her head. Aly had made a huge fool of herself trying to help Aliya after her fall. She sure got the infuriating Russian’s attention. Aly let out another breath of regret.

“Yeah,” Kyla replied back. “What does it matter to you?”

Aly shrugged, not taking her eyes of Aliya who was working the uneven bars. Her motions were fluid and strong, like a roaring river. “Nothing. Just wondering.” Aly attempted to hide the quivering in her voice.

McKayla giggled, “Well, you’ve been playing around with Mustafina, so in all honesty, Kyla and Komova aren’t so bad.” Aly did not respond and instead, the three girls watched as Katelyn and Aliya dismounted at the same time, both perfect, flawless, and clean. It was certainly going to be a tough fight.

“Let’s just get podium training done with,” Aly muttered to herself. If Aly didn’t act fast, the rift between USA and Russia was going to lead to the next Cold War. Aly could not just walk away from Aliya and never talk to her again. Aly had to figure out why Aliya let go of their relationship. And fast.


	9. Demons

Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I want to save their light  
I can’t escape this now  
Unless you show me how

Aliya straightened her last strand of hair. Flipping it back, she admired the dark black hair that she always called her own. She had always gotten someone else to do her hair and makeup for her, but this time, she wouldn’t allow anyone to do it except herself. Aliya was free of Aly, so she would be free of any willing help, at least in the beauty department. Viktoria was trying to braid her hair unsuccessfully.

“Vika, do you need help?” Aliya asked, grabbing a container of eyeshadow. Light brown and pink were the colors. Aliya stared down at her black dress and sighed. Matching makeup was not the easiest thing to do. Aliya would rather spend one hour conditioning instead of getting ready for “meet the gymnasts night”. She used to look forward to seeing all her competitors. Now, Aliya just wanted her gold medal so she could leave. Everything reminded her of Aly.

Viktoria slammed down her brush and closed her eyes. “No, Alka, I don’t need help. I’ll be fine.” She leaned on the sink with her hands, her blonde hair covering her face.

“What’s the matter, Vika?” Aliya asked, sliding up to Viktoria’s shoulders.

Viktoria sighed, grabbing the brush and starting again. “I’m just wondering what my future will be like without gymnastics and some other special people. Like, what’s going to happen after Antwerp? Will I see her again?” Aliya knew who “her” was. “Honestly, I’m scared for the future. That’s all. It doesn’t help that she’ll be here and this waterfall braid is not working.” Viktoria let out a nervous giggle.

“Oh, Vika,” Aliya exhaled. She embraced the little fairy-like girl. “Life is so unexpected. But, dushka, everything will be ok in the end. You know, if it is meant to be, then that’s awesome. But if not, then move along happily.”

Viktoria pinned her waterfall braid in place and swerved around to face Aliya, who was now attempted to put on mascara. “Konechno, Alka, of course. I know all about fate, don’t worry. Yet you aren’t happy with the way things turned out between you and Raisman. Are you?” Aliya slammed down the tube of black mascara with tears threatening to spill out of her newly made-over eyes. Aliya had spent months telling herself giving up Aly was the best idea, that her feelings weren’t love and instead were lust. Aliya knew that her feelings had changed for Aly, but with every passing second Aliya realized her mistake. But it was too late. So she cut off her feelings because she understood a long-distance relationship couldn’t happen. Aly would try and try and Aliya would never give in. Heartbreak wasn’t worth it.

Viktoria rubbed the small of Aliya’s back. “I’m sorry if I upset you. The truth hurts.” Aliya bit her lip to keep her tears at bay. “Here, Alka, I’ll do your makeup for you.” Viktoria tilted Aliya’s head over to her.

Aliya brushed her hair away from her face as Viktoria re-did her mascara. The feeling of her teammate’s hands on her face soothed her. After all the two girls had been through, the both of them were together as one. And now, life was so radically different from years ago, training at Krugloye Ozero, playing pranks and going through the awkward stage in life. They were never the two closest girls in the gym; Aliya stayed with the older girls and Viktoria liked her younger counterparts. But Aliya and Viktoria were the dominant Russian gymnasts and either of them would do anything to win.

Viktoria finished off Aliya’s look with pink blush and lipstick. She turned Aliya to face the mirror. “Otlichno.” Aliya smiled, trying to shake off all the nerves that were going to plague her. “Spasibo, Vika.”

“You’re welcome,” Viktoria said. “So, do you want to go see how Katya and Evgesha are doing?” Aliya chuckled for a moment. Those two girls were going to have a great time meeting all the gymnastics greats. The two blonde twins. Lately, no gymnastics article could mention Baturina without Shelgunova and vice versa.

“Da. Let’s see how excited they are.”

__________________________________________

Aly groaned. She should not have suggested that the four girls prepare for meet the gymnasts night in one bathroom to bond. It was crowded in the small space with lots of shoving and moaning and screaming. “Kyla, if you do not hand me that periwinkle eyeliner, I swear I will not look pretty. And that will not bode over well in the pictures!” McKayla shouted. Aly rolled her eyes and handed McKayla the eyeliner herself.

“Thanks, girlie,” McKayla noted to Aly. Katelyn snickered as she applied red lipstick. Kyla sighed and kept curling her hair to form soft waves that framed her face. Since a moment of silence was rare in the bathroom together, McKayla kept rambling on and on. “So, like, who are you really really excited to meet?”

Kyla said, “I’m really going to enjoy meeting everyone, Mack.”

“Same,” Aly agreed, pulling her hair back in a ponytail. Her dark brown hair wasn’t doing her any favors. Hopefully Aliya would be there so Aly would have to confront her to win her back. Aly still had no idea why Aliya had split from her like that. Why out of all the times they had been through, Aliya chose the start of the new year? Aly wanted Raistafina to happen again, but at the very least, Aly needed answers.

“Aly, come on! We all know you want to see Aliya again,” McKayla retorted, creating a wing on her left eye with the eyeliner. “I still think you two should be together, if you ask me.”

“She’s the one who broke up with me,” Aly sighed. McKayla and Kyla glanced at each other, while Katelyn smirked, trying out a new sparkly lip gloss after taking off all the lipstick. Aly’s sophisticated black jeans contrasted with her sleeveless white blouse and white heels. She was hoping that her elegance would catch Aliya’s fancy. McKayla was in a trendy, tight hot pink skirt with a silky tank-top in a ballerina pink. Kyla wore a red dress, casual yet dazzling. And Katelyn was fine herself with a little black dress. “We look great tonight,” Aly complimented her teammates. “Great indeed.”

“Thanks.” “Thanks, Aly.” “You look great too, girl!”

“We are going to have a great time. And yes, meet great gymnasts and eat decadent food and everything. This night is ours.” The girls cheered at Aly’s remarks and fell into a deep silence. Aly took her hair out of the ponytail and flounced it around her face until the flow of her hair suited her taste.

“Ky, can you hand me the sparkly mascara?”

___________________________________________________

Aliya spooned the pasta on her plastic plate. This banquet wasn’t made for kings and queens, but it was enough for Aliya, who grew up in a relatively poor household. Rarely anyone sat with their teammates during the night of podium training, collectively known as “meet the gymnasts” night. Viktoria was already hanging out with Kyla, of course, at a table of four with Iordache and Tunney. Ekaterina was with some new seniors and Evgenia was at a table with Ohashi and two Japanese gymnasts Aliya barely knew.

Aliya adjusted her simple black dress and headed towards a table for two. She sat down and began eating her salad, hoping someone would join her. A conversation with someone in a nice, quiet environment would be great, to take her mind off of the competition and Aly and all. She loved her teammates, but they didn’t relieve any of the stress. She wanted someone to reassure her that she could move on from Rotterdam and London to focus on Antwerp and the future.

While Aliya shoved a slice of tomato in her mouth, someone came to sit with her. She lifted her head up, tomato in mouth, and gagged at the sight of who her seatmate was. A girl with dark brown hair that lifted around her face, a white sleeveless blouse that would get soiled in a second, and dark jeans. Aly.

“Out of all the places to sit,” Aliya murmured.

“Hi, Aliya,” Aly gushed. Leaning forward, she said, “I’m really excited to see you here tonight.” Aly began chewing on her breadstick. Aliya tucked her hair behind her ear, hoping Aly would leave her life for good.

Aliya swallowed the rest of her salad. “Go, Aly. I do not want to talk to you tonight.” Or ever, Aliya thought.

“I wanted to get back together, but let me ask you one thing. Why did you break up with me?” Aliya knew the answer: she didn’t love Aly anymore. But it hurt too much to say it out loud. So Aliya just sat and ate without a word. “Ok, fine, Aliya, if you aren’t going to tell me that, here’s another question. Why am I so repulsive that you just can’t even be courteous?”

“You are not,” she blurted out without thinking.

Aly propped her head up with her elbow. “Then prove it.” She raised her eyebrows and at the same time, shoveled pasta in her mouth. Aliya rolled her eyes, but she realized Aly would never leave her alone unless Aliya pretended to care somewhat. What was Aliya to say?

“Um, how was training?” Aliya asked. “Like, for the competition?”

In between bites of pasta, Aly replied, “Great! Mihai really brought me up to speed after the tour and everything. Yeah, it was really rough, but I enjoyed it.” For a moment, Aliya felt as if she and Aly were together again, dating and happy; she could tell her everything. One look instantly changed that feeling. The memories flooded in her brain. “And you?”

“Krugloye Ozero is a rigorous place,” Aliya started. “So it is always hard work. But I enjoy most of the moments. My teammates are my best friends. It is nice there. But training, yes, never too pleasant. Hard work.” Aly smiled. Maybe she felt the same way too; they could still be dating and in love.

“What is it like at Round Lake?”

“Round Lake?” Aliya had no idea what Round Lake was. Maybe it was the Anglicized way of saying Krugloye Ozero, but she took her chances asking Aly. She wouldn’t make fun of her, at least not too much.

“Your training area.” Aly seemed just as puzzled as Aliya.

Aliya nodded, “Krugloye Ozero. Yes. It is such a good place with neat equipment. We - the best gymnasts in all of Russia - live together. My sister, Nailya, was with me for some time before her injury and retirement. The training is very rigorous because the best coaches are helping you and training you. There is a lot of pressure put on you. But if gymnastics is your love, then it is all good. Your teammates are always with you and they become like sisters. I view it as my first home, not just my second. Perhaps one day, you Americans can come visit.”

“I’d like that,” Aly said. “We only have the Karolyi Ranch, which is like a mini Round Lake. We gather to camp all the time, like even once a month to prepare skills for rounds of competition. We get new skills and everything, which is great. But I love bonding with the national team members and the other girls. They’re just so nice and make me a better person.”

Soon, Aliya and Aly began to discuss the drama and pranks that go on at their respective training centers. They chuckled and snorted at some of the events. And they sympathized at other events. Aliya and Aly were bonding and for the first time in months, Aliya didn’t want to stop talking to Aly.

Viktoria came up behind Aly after almost a half-hour of talking. “Alka, we’re going to introduce ourselves to some of the gymnasts, you know, Katya, Evgesha, and I. Care to come join us?” It wasn’t much of request; Aliya knew it was a demand. They had to be known as dominating Russians, especially with such a powerhouse team.

Aliya nodded and rose up from the wicker chair. “Nice talking with you, Aly.” Viktoria’s eyebrows raised and her jaw dropped to the floor. Aly waved her goodbye as Aliya went off with Viktoria and the small digital camera Viktoria owned. 

“Alka, shto? What was that with Aly? I thought you despised her,” Viktoria jabbed.

“She sat next to me, so I thought I’d make polite conversation.” Viktoria and Aliya approached Ekaterina and Evgenia, looking almost identical from their blonde backside. The blonde twins was a fitting nickname.

“Right,” Viktoria droned.

“Don’t think I want any more to do with Aly then I did before.” And though Aliya certainly wanted Aly’s friendship, her love was a different story.

________________________________________________________

Aly smiled for a picture with one of the members of the Spanish gymnastics team. Aliya was nearby her, talking with the Ukranians. Aly could feel the electric tension between them. Katelyn snapped the photo and handed the camera back to the tallest member of the Spanish team. They muttered a barely audible, accented, “thank you,” and left the four American teammates alone.

“Well,” McKayla droned, “who haven’t we taken photos with?” Her voice rose on the word “haven’t”. The Americans were certainly the most popular gymnasts among the gymnasts themselves, maybe because of their team final performance. Aly knew how to handle all the media and popularity in part because of the Olympics. McKayla was great at everything attention-based. Kyla was always an awkward girl, but it worked. For Katelyn, this experience was all so foreign.

“Hmm. I’m not sure. I think we’ve taken photos and met virtually everyone,” Katelyn exclaimed. Her eyelids fluttered and immediately Aly knew she was exhausted from training and greeting everyone.

They girls thought a moment, then Kyla cried out, “the Russians!” The four girls ran over to the other four Russians. “Privet,” Kyla said to them. “Um… may we have a picture with you all?” Viktoria and Aliya nodded. Viktoria shuffled over to Kyla’s side and Aly found her way to be on the side of the photo, next to Aliya.

“Aly, you must remember that we are not friends,” Aliya whispered as the girls gave their cameras and phones to someone to take their photo.

“What… what makes you think that?” Aly asked as the other girls were primping themselves before the image was taken. Just standing next to her in a picture didn’t mean that Aly still loved Aliya. Well, she did, but Aly didn’t want this confrontation to happen, not now.

“I just don’t want you to keep trying to know me, that’s all.”


	10. Enchanted

Aliya rubbed her chalked hands together. The whole world was watching her every move here in qualifications. Ekaterina wasn’t going to vault, so she was warming up for uneven bars. Aliya looked around the arena, watching the competition. Of course, the Americans had to be with them in the qualifying round. Aliya rolled her eyes as she moved her ankle in a circular motion. She was going to perform an Amanar, and this could make or break her all-around chances.

The D-score flashed on the screen, 6.3. Aliya took a deep breath in and let it out. Her teammates were watching her every move. She had to be spot on. Three girls wanted all-around spots for Russia and only two could have them. And Aliya’s eyes wanted to see gold more than anything in the world.

With another breath, she ran, performed a roundoff, and hit the table. Her thoughts all flew away as she twisted in the air. When she came down to land, Aliya stumbled and leaned to the side, counting two extremely large steps. She plastered on a dainty smile and saluted the judges. She left the vault runway and groaned at the sight of her score. Deductions everywhere. If Aliya thought she had a chance, it dimmed.

“Khorosho, Alka,” Ekaterina whispered in her ear as they embraced. “I’m sure you’ll rock the uneven bars, so this vault will even out. It was not your best, clearly, but you’ll do great.” They let go of each other, and Aliya smiled. The ditzy, bratty girl was learning how to be a supportive teammate.

“Spasibo.”

Aliya watched Viktoria spin around two-and-a-half times and hit the ground with a small hop. The crowd went wild. Aliya and Ekaterina ran up to hug Viktoria. With that vault, Aliya knew her work was not cut out for her; it was going to be extremely challenging. It was like Viktoria didn’t even have that back injury to begin with. “Otlichno, Vika!” “Wow.”

Evgenia’s DTY was clean in form, but the landing was subpar. The girls congratulated her anyway, knowing it was still a three-person race. The feelings of teamwork and sportsmanship were still present, but without a team, the bonding had faded away into the background. Now, it was the American’s turn with all of the members vaulting. Aliya rubbed her hands together. This was going to be interesting.

“Are you all ready to see the Americans?” Aliya asked with a sly smile. She realized Viktoria would be nervous for Ross, yet Aliya wanted to scope out the gold medal competition.

“Da, we are ready,” Ekaterina boasted.

Aliya knew her teammates were ready.

______________________________________________

Aly rubbed her hands together, the chalk falling down from her body to the ground like snow. She was going to be vaulting first for team USA. Every couple of seconds, Aly would glance at Aliya and turn back to the discussion her teammates were having. All four of them would be vaulting, and Aly was about to go into cardiac arrest from all the anxiety. Only McKayla was going to try for vault event finals though.

Aly’s name and d-score showed up on the screen next to her. This vault had to be dazzling. She took a breath in and ran toward the vaulting table, twisting around the proper number of times. With her ears, she heard, “Go Aly!” from her teammates. Keeping her composure, she landed with only her right foot taking an addition step. Reliable Raisman really helped her out. With a salute to the judges, Aly ran off the vault area and squealed along with her teammates, taking their hands and hugging them.

Aly glanced over at Aliya, who had her arms crossed with a smirk on her face. The competition was heating up.

She didn’t like to watch the competition, but Aly lifted her head up to see Katelyn attempt to twist around two-and-a-half times. Aly knew this wasn’t going to go well; the chance for Katelyn to get into all-around was dimming rapidly. Aly shielded her brown eyes with her hand.

Aly snuck a peek from behind her hands and gasped along with Kyla and McKayla. Katelyn was sitting on the vault landing runway and was using her hands to stand back up. There were tears in her eyes as she saluted the judges and went back to the girls.

They did their best to cheer her up, but with an Amanar with only a small hop forward from Kyla and a stuck Amanar from McKayla that almost rivaled her Olympic one, Aly realized Katelyn knew there was absolutely no chance for an Ohashi all-around title.

________________________________________________________

Aliya stuck her eponymous move with a smile. Uneven bars was her forte and Aliya loved it. She accepted kisses and hugs from her teammates and sat down on the black metal chair, preparing for a beam routine. 

She saw Maria and Anastasia in the crowd with crutches next to Anastasia’s leg. “Shto?” Aliya mouthed. Everyone in Krugloye Ozero had heard about Anastasia’s injury, but it wasn’t this severe, from Aliya’s understanding. Anastasia was just training a few days ago! Aliya’s score flashed on the screen and Aliya couldn’t help but grin. She was dominating the competition, only trailing Kyla and of course, her teammate, Viktoria.

Maria shouted loudly, so everyone in the vicinity could hear, “Uneven bars injury!” Everyone in the seating section glared and appeared annoyed with Maroney-not-impressed looks on their faces. “Why are you all looking at me?” Maria kept saying in English. “Is it because I am the great Maria Paseka, two-time Olympian medalist?” Aliya couldn’t help but laugh at the girl who could cheer up anyone. Even Anastasia, who didn’t enjoy Maria’s antics, had to smile at that.

All of a sudden, a loud “bang” rang out in the arena with a gasp from the audience. Aliya took her eyes off of Maria and Anastasia and instead saw Evgenia struggling to get up from the mat in between bars. “What happened?” Aliya asked Viktoria, who was mentally preparing herself for her routine. Viktoria’s Amanar was clean and certainly not scary.

“Evgesha fell,” Viktoria whispered.

“Oh, Vika,” Aliya began to say. “But -”

Viktoria shook her head. “It is very detrimental, but she can still make event finals.” And Aliya knew that was all Evgenia could hope for now.

________________________________________________

Aly swung around on the uneven bars and let go, landing her dismount with only a small hop. For what usually happened on the apparatus, it was pretty decent. Cameras clicked as she smiled and retreated back to her teammates. “That was great, Aly!” “Nice, Aly.” “Awesome, girl!” She embraced them all and went over to Mihai.

“That looked great, Aly,” her coach said with his hand cupping his chin. “Keep it up, and you’ll be on your way to the gold.”

“Really?” Aly asked, her deep brown eyes widening. She kept staring at Aliya for a second too long and their eyes met. “Do you think I have a legitimate shot?” Aly had been dreaming since her fourth place at London for the heavy medal of the all-around to hang on her neck.

Mihai rolled his eyes at his protege. “Yes, I do.”

Aly gave Mihai the Aliya-Mustafina-signature-thumbs-up and ran over to McKayla, who wouldn’t be going near the uneven bars or balance beam. “Mack, ready for floor?” Aly questioned as they both stared at Kyla’s gorgeous lines as she performed her routine.

“Yeah, I am. I’m ready to prove I’m not a one-trick pony or whatever.”  
__________________________________________________

Aliya wrapped herself closely with her warm-up jacket thrown over her bare legs. The beam routine had gone swimmingly and Aliya knew, in the back of her mind, that she would qualify, no questions asked. Everything was going well, Aly wasn’t completely annoying, and it seemed Aliya would qualify for the all-around along with a few event finals. She was back from injuries and ready to take control of Antwerp 2013 just like Rotterdam three years ago. Nothing was stopping this Mustafina girl. She could only hope her family was watching on the television, cheering her on.

Ekaterina was starting on the beam with her fluid motion. “Davai, Katya!” Aliya screamed at the top of her lungs. She noticed that Ekaterina’s mouth turned upwards with the sound of Aliya’s voice. Aliya was never one for yelling.

Aliya watched her friend come off the beam as elegantly as she had gotten on. The crowd went wild. Besides Evgenia’s drastic fall, every Russian was rocking the arena with artistry that blew the minds of everyone watching. The competition was heating up between who would qualify first for the all-around. Cameras were capturing every second of the qualification round. Nothing could be left to the imagination.

“Spasibo for your support, Alka,” Ekaterina mentioned as they hugged each other. “You are a great friend, you know?”

Aliya blushed. “Well, Katya, you are turning into a fierce competitor and a loyal teammate yourself. Who knew the bratty little girl would turn out like this?” Aliya tweaked Ekaterina’s pale button nose. They had come a long way from being little girls attempting cartwheels, dreaming of days like this.

__________________________________________________________

Aly hit backspring after backspring and dismounted from the beam with a stuck landing. Nothing like the botched ones she performed at Brestyan’s half the time. Reliable Raisman was appearing again. Aly never really liked the nickname, but it seemed to suit her well enough. She was the last one of the whole rotation to perform on the beam and she ended it on a high note, high-fiving her coach and Kyla, Katelyn, and McKayla.

Aly snuck a look over at Aliya, who was wildly debating something with her Russian teammates. The one girl who had fallen on the uneven bars, Evgenia, appeared disappointed and dejected. Aly wanted to go over and give her a hug and perhaps kiss Aliya with the ferocity of a tiger. Yet Aly kept herself poised and restricted from making a fool of herself like she did at podium training. That didn’t need to happen in front of a whole crowd and the rest of the world watching through a lens.

“We are rocking the house tonight!” Kyla exclaimed, using her Olympic phrase. The girls all laughed whole-heartedly. Things had changed over the past year, but everything still seemed the same. Aly was still competing and vying for Aliya’s attention. Except for the whole roller coaster of a relationship occurred right in the middle.

“So...” McKayla said, her voice lingering in the air.

“What?” Katelyn asked as they gathered up their belongings to move to floor. Katelyn had seemed to get over her all-around failure and move on to event finals. She could bang out a beam routine like no other, and her uneven bars were impressive as well. All-around gold had faded away, but other routines were there waiting.

McKayla arched her left eyebrow before continuing. Aly couldn’t help but notice that Kyla was looking over at Viktoria. “Ky, pay attention! Anyway, so guess who hooked up with Sam Mikulak the other day?”

“You?” Katelyn responded. Aly almost squealed.

“Oh, omg, no.” Aly rolled her eyes at the use of text-speak in McKayla’s speech. “That was the Kellogg’s tour, obviously. Who wouldn’t get with that?”

“Me,” Kyla muttered under her breath. McKayla ignored her.

McKayla paused for a second. “Ok, so, it was that Russian girl, like Catherina or something? I couldn’t really tell.”

“Ekaterina,” Kyla corrected, picking at a silver sequin on her leotard.

“Yeah her,” McKayla said. They walked over to the floor exercise without a word after that.

_________________________________________________

Aliya finished her last pass and ended the exercise. She saluted, squealed, and ran down to hug all her teammates, who were ecstatic and screaming along with her.

“Alka, you were amazing!” “Seriously.” “Stop being stunning, please, so I can have a chance at the all-around.” The latter was stated by Evgenia, who was already teasing about her all-around disappointment. Aliya loved how the girl could pick herself up so easily after the regret of falling on her worst event.

“You girls inspire me so much, you know?” Aliya told them as they sat back down on the chairs waiting for her score.

“Please, we know,” Ekaterina said, making everyone giggle. The score flashed, making Aliya qualify behind Viktoria and Zeng Siqi, a Chinese gymnast, for the all-around. The Americans hadn’t gone on floor yet, but Aliya knew that it would be a tight race. At the final, Aliya would have to knock it out of the park to win. She had let her guard down for one competition.

__________________________________________________

Aly panted out of breath from her floor exercise. She had almost went out of bounds on her first pass, and that was not a good thing. The scores were up with Viktoria, Zeng Siqi, and Kyla qualifying first, second, and third, in that order. Aly realized she wouldn’t be able to edge one of them out, but maybe she had a chance of getting ahead of Aliya, who was fourth. Or even tie again. That seemed to happen to the both of them the most.

She took deep breaths in and out. Aly didn’t want to pass out. This was qualifications and it didn’t matter where she qualified as long as she did.

The score came up, only 0.1 behind Aliya. Aly nodded at the screen and packed up her belongings. Soon would be the all-around final along with beam and floor event finals. She was now in control of her own destiny.


	11. Beautiful Goodbye

I count the ways I let you down  
On my fingers and toes but I’m running out  
Clever words can’t help me now  
I’d grip you tight but you’re slipping out

Aliya sighed as she tied up her hair in a ponytail facing the bathroom mirror. Tomorrow was the day of the all-around final and it was going to be a serious challenge. The day had been spent training all her muscles and all her routines to remember exactly how she needed to perform. She took a breath in and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Aliya hadn’t changed much over the years, but she knew inside, life had been much different a few years ago, when she didn’t know Aly and when she wasn’t a world champion.

Aliya left the bathroom so Viktoria could use it. She noticed a folded-up piece of paper under the door. She picked it up and unfolded it, peeking around to make sure Viktoria wasn’t watching. Aliya read the English words, “Meet me outside the dorm building by midnight. I have a good reason to talk to you. - Aly”. Aliya sighed.

She didn’t want to see Aly anymore, but Aliya understood that Aly needed an explanation for why this all happened. She supposed it wasn’t easy for the American with no form. Aliya tucked the note into her bathrobe pocket, rolling it up so the paper edges wouldn’t show through. She laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling with an American movie playing on the television.

Aliya let her mind wander until Viktoria came out from the bathroom. “Alka, good night. We both have to be ready to win Worlds.” She winked and snuggled in her blankets. Aliya turned off the lights with her right index finger.

“I… I might go out and get some fresh air,” Aliya mumbled, pulling the covers off of her body and standing up in the dark. Aly’s letter felt warm whenever her bathrobe pocket grazed the side of her hip.

Viktoria moaned out loud, “Seriously, Alka? Get some sleep. If you lose tomorrow to me, it is solely your fault.” Aliya could hear the teasing that was present in Viktoria’s voice, but she knew Viktoria was being self-deprecating as well. The back injury did not help her in any way at all. Missing the National Championships and Euros was devastating to Viktoria’s skyrocketing career. Sure, Aliya was “Queen Mustafina”, but at the very least, Viktoria was “Princess Komova”, if not “Queen Komova”. Aliya never fully understood this gymnastics royalty plan.

“Very funny,” Aliya retorted, retreating over to the window for a moment, contemplating what had happened in Antwerp over the past few days. Aly had attempted to reconcile with Aliya, but it failed. Bonding with her teammates had definitely happened and the four girls were closer than ever. Aliya never knew that it was even possible to get to know Viktoria more. Ekaterina was Aliya’s biggest surprise, with a girl almost as sweet as candy; nothing like she was a few years ago and had just come to Krugloye Ozero. Evgenia was still the same; Aliya liked the girl even more.

Viktoria propped up on her elbow, not ready to let go of Aliya and her misery just yet. “What would it be like if Nailya was here with us and you two were known as the duo of the gymnastics world?”

“Aren’t we the duo of the gymnastics world?”

“Answer me seriously,” Viktoria scowled. She smirked and said, “I won’t let you get your supposed fresh air unless you do.”

Aliya let her dark hair flow out of her ponytail and down her back. “We’d be known as the Mustafina sisters everywhere we went. We would sweep the medals, and maybe she’d get gold on beam and I’d win everything else. We would be best friends, not like we aren’t already, and everyone would love us. Vika, I really don’t have a great imagination, so can you let me off the hook?”

“Fine,” Viktoria pouted. “Good luck tomorrow, Alka.”

“You too, Vika.”

Aliya left the room, closing the door as silently as possible. Then she moved to the outside, hoping whatever Aly said wouldn’t make her rethink all the life choices she had made.

____________________________________________________________

Aly slipped the note under Aliya’s dorm room door, hoping she’d read it before midnight. Aly had pleaded with her teammates to allow her to go outside for a moment to walk around and stretch her legs, so she had to make this quick. She didn’t risk knocking on the door in fear of Viktoria Komova opening it and being nagged by the little powerhouse.

She waited a minute, just to see if Aliya would open the door and see Aly. Then they wouldn’t have to wait for midnight. But no one came out to see Aly in her crazy pink pajamas, so Aly left, only leaving her note as a trace.

Aly walked in the hallway, letting her thoughts wander. The all-around final was tomorrow, and Aly was so nervous she’d collapse right then and there in the hallway of the dorm building. She took deep breaths in and out. If Mihai said she had a chance at the gold, then Aly knew she could pull out the big guns and finish off the year with an all-around gold. Mihai was never overly confident in Aly, even at the Olympics.

Aly arrived at her dorm room and opened it up with her brass key. She didn’t hear the noise of anyone talking, instead, it was the sound of Katelyn blasting Ed Sheeran songs from her music collection of everything from One Direction to, well, Taylor Swift. Aly went inside and fell onto her bed stomach first. Katelyn paused the song and said, “how was your walk?”

“Fine, thanks,” Aly muttered as she turned over onto her back and put her pillow under her neck. “You planning on actually sleeping soon?” Katelyn put her music back on, but lowered the volume to appease Aly.

“Yeah, let me just finish this song,” Katelyn said, bobbing her head to the beat. Even if Katelyn was an elite gymnast, she was such a normal teenage girl on the inside. Aly had to admit, living a normal life as a gymnast was not an easy feat. That was the one thing Aly wanted to experience: a normal life. Maybe after her gymnastics career passed, Aly would have a life filled with average things. It didn’t feel like something to strive for.

The song ended, filling their shared room with an unplanned silence. “I’m gonna go to sleep now. Good night, Aly.”

“Good night. I might go out,” Aly admitted, sitting up with her elbow. It wasn’t uncertain; Aly was definitely going out to see Aliya and figure out this whole relationship once and for all.

“What?” Katelyn asked. “Again? Aly, you need some rest. How are you going to get the gold?” Katelyn wasn’t bitter about herself not qualifying, but it didn’t make Aly feel less guilty for crushing the new star’s dreams.

Aly said, “yeah, again, I’ll go out and get some fresh air this time.”

When Katelyn began to snore lightly, Aly tiptoed out of the room, careful to steady her heart.

_______________________________________________________

Aliya opened the door to the outside and shivered in the cold night air. Russia felt like this outside at night. Sketchy, shady, suspicious, and cold right down to your toes. Her bathrobe flew behind her like a cape in the wind. Clouds were rolling in and rain was about to fall on the gymnast. She held her breath to try to calm herself down. She didn’t think about all the possibilities that could happen in one night in an urban area.

Aliya didn’t know what Aly had to say to her. There could only be so much to talk about. It had to be about their relationship. Explanations as to why a rift formed between them or why Aliya hadn’t kept in contact at the very minimum. She realized she’d have to confront Aly at some point. Always delaying answers wouldn’t get her anywhere.

She saw another person walk out of the dorm building and into the starry night. Aliya held her breath. Maybe it was someone sneaking out to the male dorm. Or maybe it was Ekaterina, going to see Sam one more time. She waited and waited until the female from the building began to make her way over to Aliya. Her heart began to pound like a bass drum. It was Aly, coming closer and closer to the truth.

“Aliya!” Aly shouted into the night. Aliya attempted to hush her. No one needed to know that they were there.

Aly arrived at Aliya’s feet, shivering from the cold air. “Hey, Aliya. Sorry to keep you waiting and everything.”

“Let us just make this simple and painless as possible,” Aliya groaned. She should have just skipped out on this expedition. Telling Aly about her thoughts now was a problem. She should have waited until after the all-around finals.

“Fine,” Aly murmured, gripping her hands tight. Aliya could see her hands turn red, even in the dark. Aly seemed just as nervous as Aliya was. A moment of silence passed between them. What were they to say to each other? Aly didn’t want to start asking questions and Aliya didn’t want to begin giving answers. It was an endless game of waiting, and Aliya knew Aly would be the one to start talking. “Did you date anyone else when you were with me?”

Out of all the questions, that was what Aly chose? Aliya thought. She answered it anyway, “No, Aly, of course not. I did date Pavel before, and if you saw my Vkontakte pictures, you probably knew that. And if you saw my status about him, yes, he did make me happy, first as a boyfriend and then as a friend. The very thing I am not is a cheater. I do not do that.” Aliya jutted out her chin a slight bit, showing off her dimple in her chin.

“Ok,” Aly said, nodding. After another moment, she asked, “Did you… did you enjoy your time with me?” Aliya could hear Aly’s monotone voice quiver.

Aliya snorted. “Konechno, I mean, of course. I do not want you to think otherwise. I loved our time together, Aly. There were many days that were some of my best. Don’t you remember the first time we met, dushka?” Aliya let her old nickname for Aly out on accident. Aly didn’t seem to mind this.

Aly laughed along with Aliya, their hair flying in the wind. “Yeah, I remember too well. I accidentally ran into you when you were coming out of the elevator. I was with Rebecca in Rotterdam. Oh wow, how I really miss those days.”

“I did love Rotterdam,” Aliya admitted. If she could go back to any one place at any one time, it would be 2010 in Rotterdam. Not Krugloye Ozero training times or family vacations always cut short by Aliya and Nailya’s training schedules. Aliya treasured those moments with all her heart, yes, but it all paled in comparison to things she had previously achieved.

There was another moment of brief silence. Aliya wondered if that was the only thing Aly had to say to her and hoped she could go back and sleep before the competition. Yet Aly wasn’t able to stop the feelings in her heart from exploding. 

“Did… Aliya, did you ever love me?”

____________________________________________________________

Aly had to ask the tough questions now, before it was too late and both of them had to sleep. Aly knew she couldn’t abandon Katelyn for too long. “Did…” Aly was too scared. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pajama pants. “Aliya, did you ever love me?” There. It was out for her to hear. Aly fidgeted around nervously.

Aliya rolled her eyes, appearing nonchalant about this whole ordeal. “Yes, Aly, I did love you at one point in my life.” With those words, Aly calmed down dramatically. Aliya did love her. A wave of relief washed over her body and soul. Aliya rambled on in Russian, but Aly did hear, “Da,” which she knew meant “yes”.

Aly only had one more question to ask her ex-girlfriend, and that one answer could haunt her for potentially the rest of her life. “Aliya, why? Why did you break up with me if you loved me?” The hurt and anger came rushing back into Aly.

Aly could smell Aliya’s minty breath, contemplating the answer to Aly’s question. “I… Oh, Aly. I drifted apart from you. I did love you, yes, but I realized as the time went on, we were not right for each other. Nothing could make us work. I did not want to get heartbroken when we were very attached. I decided to let you go. It was not going to happen, Aly. So yes, I did love you, but frankly, by the time I made up my mind that cold, early December day, I did not love you anymore. I should not have tossed the word ‘love’ like that so easily. And I apologize, dushka. Forgive me.”

As tears formed in Aly’s brown eyes, Aliya ran inside the building with an intensity like no other. Aly crumbled into the concrete sidewalk underneath her and curled in the fetal position, began to cry. She had heard the answer, but the truth had taken her shattered heart and broken it once more for good measure.

“But, Aliya, I love you still.”


	12. Catch My Breath

Catching my breath, letting it go  
Turning my cheek for the sake of the show  
Now that you know this is my life  
I won’t be told what’s supposed to be right

Aliya rubbed her hands together with the white chalk. She was ready to rock the all-around final. No team final to waste her energy on. This was all or nothing. Event finals were dear to Aliya’s heart as well, but she didn’t think about that. All-around medals were praised more everywhere. She took a deep breath. In her rotation, there were the top six finalists, one being Aly Raisman.

Viktoria came up to her, saying, “Good luck, Alka! Not that you actually need the luck, but you know, it’s better to offer it.” Aliya had to smile at her lovely teammate.

“You too, dorogaya,” Aliya said. Another deep breath in for Aliya. She could feel Aly’s dull eyes focusing on her body. The whole world was watching Aliya’s every move. They would judge every performance flaw. But nothing made her sweat more than Aly. Aliya didn’t really get why Aly made her feel like this. It probably had something to do with the fact that Aliya had poured out her heart last night in front of Aly, becoming more vulnerable than ever before.

Aliya did what only she could do: she looked away from Aly and instead focused on the vault she was about to execute. For the all-around, all of her scores counted. Aliya could not blunder at this particular moment. Her D-score flashed on the screen with her name “Aliya Mustafina”. Another deep breath in for Aliya. Her sparkly leotard wasn’t calming her down in any way. She could hear Ekaterina and Evgenia scream from the stands: “Davai, Alka!” “You will do well!”

Aliya waved at her two little teammates before turning back to concentrate on the vault. Run, get a good block on the table, and spin around like no one else imagined. That’d be the only way she’d make it through this event; the one event Aliya dreaded. A tear of her ACL would be devastating. Not like the first time around was bad enough.

Aliya got her mind prepared and focused when she saw Aly come up to the vault again. Aliya took deep breaths to stop her from lashing out at her competitor. It would be unprofessional and would fuel the diva rumors even more. She didn’t need any of that made-up stuff NBC put out for their viewers. Aliya didn’t turn her head to look back at Aly until Aly said, “Good luck, Aliya. You’ll do great.” Aliya didn’t want to talk to Aly anymore. Why now, when all the cameras were on?

Aliya ignored Aly. Her mind couldn’t be filled with unnecessary thoughts right now.

Aly left Aliya to vault for a score. Aliya saluted the judges with her hair and eye glitter soaking in all the arena lights and shining like the star Aliya knew she was. She hoped with all her heart that her family was watching her compete. Even including Nailya, who had a tough time with gymnastics after all the pressure was put on the Mustafina sisters. Aliya was mentally strong. Nailya was too, but after a point, it got to her.

She ran up to the vault table and twisted in the air two-and-a-half times. Or attempted to. Aliya came down with a breakable amount of force with an under-rotated Amanar with three large steps to the side. Tears sprung up in her eyes as she saluted the judges. Alexandrov made a move to hug her; Aliya completely denied the hug with a slight shove and moan. Her all-around chances had been broken in the blink of an eye.

Nothing could save her now.

____________________________________________________________

Aly saluted the judges and covered her mouth, almost screaming. That uneven bars performance was horrendous. Aly almost fell on her release move and hit the lower bar with her feet twice. There was no way a medal was coming to her now. Her Amanar was decent, yet nothing could replace the uneven bars routine that just happened. Mihai’s head was in his hands. Aly’s siblings were upset and Aly’s parents had twisted, pained expressions on their faces that showed their contempt and disappointment.

Kyla ran up and hugged Aly tightly. “Oh my goodness, Aly! I’m honestly so sorry about those deductions.” Kyla had already vaulted with just a small hop on the landing. “We are going to be alright,” Kyla said, picking a sequin on her dark blue leotard. Aly could sense the tension and relief emitting from Kyla. Without Aly in the running, Kyla was one step closer on sealing an all-around medal.

“Yeah,” Aly whispered. “But, Ky? I feel awful for Aliya.” No breakup or awkward moment could not make Aly hurt and feel pain for Aliya. After being so successful the last quad, a vault like that would not redeem her in any way.

“Definitely,” Kyla said, packing up her equipment to move along to the balance beam. Aly began to follow Kyla’s example, steadily motioning around the area to gather everything. “Aly?”

“Yeah, Ky?” Aly began to pick up her belongings too. She had to forget what had just happened and find a way to finish the all-around with dignity and honor.

Kyla sat down on the folding chair and stretched out her muscles. “Do you feel bad for Aliya because the two of you are still dating or something? You were at one point a ruthless competitor. Feeling bad would make you leave your calm, mental state.” Aly watched Katelyn and McKayla wave from the stands. Kyla waved back and Aly only smiled up at them.

“I - oh, Kyla. Aliya and I aren’t dating anymore.”

“Aly! I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have pried,” Kyla murmured, rubbing Aly’s shoulder. Aly noticed Katelyn and McKayla taking selfies with duck faces. Those pictures could make Aly smile any night. Not this night, however.

“No, it’s fine,” Aly waved the notion of them away. Aly’s score finally popped up on the screen like a blazing fire alarm alert. She wiped away a lone tear from her olive-skinned cheek. Sulking about it wouldn’t help her. She cut off the conversation with Kyla while Mihai was trying to pull himself together to be the same coach that mentored the great Alicia Sacramone and Aly Raisman. She wanted to finish beam and go to floor, where she could have fun and perform for an audience that still cared about her.

Because losing Aliya pained her to no end.

_________________________________________________

Aliya dismounted from the beam with the first smile she had put on since that vaulting mess. Aliya had done a great uneven bars routine; one of the higher scoring ones by far. But she knew gold wasn’t an option, nor was silver. Bronze was likely, but there were a few balance checks through her beam routine that made a podium standing unpredictable. It was a tight race between Viktoria and Ross, with Zeng Siqi following them closely. Aliya could predict the medals now.

“Khorosho, Alka!” Viktoria squealed. Not otlichno, Aliya thought to herself. Just khorosho. Just good. Not excellent. Aliya had to play for the cameras and for Viktoria too. So Aliya smiled again and put her hands on her hips, pretending as if that beam routine had tired her out to no end. That her vault ordeal was caused because of exhaustion. Maybe NBC wouldn’t make her out to be a diva again.

Aliya took a sip of water from her water bottle. “Spasibo, Vika. You’re doing wonderful out there yourself.” Viktoria shook her head and a wisp of her blonde hair came out. Aliya chuckled. Even after the world stopped for her, it still ran for everyone else.

“Spasibo,” Viktoria said. She went back to mimicking her floor routine so she’d be ready.

Aliya watched Ross mount the beam with confidence and poise. The American gymnast never had any problems with her balance. Ross kept going on and on, throwing her moves precisely. She had to look away. The feeling of knowing you will not win was like a dagger thrown in her chest. Nothing could hurt her more.

Aliya instead focused on her floor routine. She went over all her dance elements one by one on the floor in front of the line of chairs. She could hear a roar going up across the arena, signaling Ross’s spectacular dismount. Aliya blocked out the noise and hummed her floor music instead. Viktoria was cheering, which didn’t help Aliya much.

Alexander came over, disrupting her silence for a moment. He glanced over at Aliya’s face and softly whispered, “oh, solnyshko.” It took everything in Aliya not to cry in front of her coach. She bit her lip only with enough force to keep a sob from coming out. Her life had been twisted over the past few weeks into a strong girl with enough motivation to keep a village alive and instead she had become someone weak and dependent.

Intimidating her competitors with Siberian cold stares wouldn’t help Aliya any longer. Her eyes wouldn’t psych anyone out. No judge would inflate her scores because she was a Mustafina, a great gymnast queen.

She sighed and went through the motions of her ending. Perhaps it would be the last time she ever performed on the international stage.

Maybe she wouldn’t mind that.  
___________________________________________________

Aly sighed as she left the floor exercise stage and went to go to her coach. That floor routine was exciting and fun as always. But the lack of shine and stardom was noticeable. Aly had left everything out on the floor tonight. Life would go on even with her not finishing in the medal count for the all-around. It had happened too many times before. The disappointment didn’t even break her anymore.

Kyla was the first to hug Aly as she came down the steps. “Aly! Oh, Aly. Are you alright?”

Aly spent a second longer in Kyla’s arms. “Yeah, I’m fine. Rough day.” It was strange how life all worked out in the end. Aly was disappointed, yes, but this had all happened to her before. And that time, Aliya had reached out to her and they became lovers. So Aly decided from then on, every regret would be thought about for a second and then moved on. There were new experiences calling her name.

It was said that true love stories never end. Aly knew in her heart that her true love would never leave her for any reason. Because Aliya didn’t want to be with Aly, their love story had ended. It wasn’t true and wholesome. Aly had to let go of their toxic relationship or it would destroy her for the rest of her life. Moving on was the only smart choice left in her options.

Maybe she’d find another girl as wonderful as Aliya. Probably even more so. Or maybe Aly would go back and find a guy who would love her. Either way, she realized she deserved to be happy. Gold all-around medals would give her that satisfactory happiness and euphoria of winning. Aly wanted to be recognized for her hard work, yes. More importantly, she didn’t want the happiness in her life to disappear in thin air.

Aly watched the rest of the floor routines in her rotation with tears in her eyes. She was not what she once was.

The scores came up on the large screen one by one. Viktoria Komova was first with Kyla only less than 0.1 behind. Kyla began crying tears of joy, repeating the words, “I did it! I’m so so happy! I rocked the house.” Zeng Siqi took the bronze and was crying in joy along with Viktoria and Kyla. Aly couldn’t help but smile for a second. Behind the medalists were Larisa Iordache in fourth and Aliya and Aly in fifth and sixth.

Not the best performance, Aly thought, but I still have event finals.

“Good job,” Aliya said when Aly came walking up to her. Aliya flashed her signature “Mustafina thumbs up” with her right hand. Aly started to lean in towards Aliya for an embrace. Aly wanted to feel the body heat exchange. But Aliya stepped back.

“Thank you. You did great too,” Aly said back to the person she once loved.

And as Aliya walked away, Aly knew it would be the last encounter they ever had between each other. Ever since the breakup, Aly could finally breathe.

It was over.


End file.
